Why did I have to see this person?!!!!
I ran into a friend of my exhusband at the park yesterday. That sent me into a somewhat emotional frenzy. Now I played it cool infront of him of Course! But...seeing someone associated with my ex after six years brought me back. It brought me back to thinking about my ex and asking flandering questions like: Is he still friends with my ex? Is he going to tell my ex that he saw me? Do I look good today? Is he going to tell my ex I look good? I gained some weight-do I look fat? Am I going to have to ignore this park for the rest of my life!!!!???!!!
Yes, a frenzy is where I went. And I froze. Not when I was talking to this friend of my ex but I froze in my thinking fo my self if that makes sense? I couldn't think of myself and my life and my goals clearly. I started second guessing my dreams and weighing my self against some scale of "worthiness" that seems insurmountable.
It was a hard day yesterday.
And I didn't feel anything but numbness which led me to not excercise and almost go into an eating frenzy. But I didn't.
Today is new day.