My name is Dana, I am 46 years old, but I feel like I am 100. Everything hurts, head to toe, inside and out. Today; I weigh 269 pounds, I have lost 31 pounds since May.
I have a long history of obesity and yo-yo dieting. I weighed 350 at my max in 1999, and my lowest adult weight was about 160. I do have a lot of baggage both emotionally and physically. I grew up feeling unaccepted and judged by my father. He had my Mom measuring my food when i was a child, he made my weigh for him regularly and was always telling me to "suck it in", and he chastised me by saying he could not afford the grocery bills because of me. These things scarred me for life, and I am looking for healing. Also I need to get to the root of my emotional eating and relationship problems. I have had 3 long term relationships in my adult life, and each of those resulted in massive weight gain. For example,I started a relationship in 1996, and at the end I was 350. Another example; i got down to about 160 in 2008, and i was running 5ks and 10ks, doing sprint triathlons (I was even a weight loss success story in Shape Magazine!!!) and then i met a man in 2009, and here I am 6 years later and I weigh 109 pounds more now than the day i met him. That relationship ended in February, and so the cycle begins.
I saw my PCP in May and my blood work was not good. My blood glucose was 190, A1C 9, triglycerides way off, Vitamin D extremely low. I don't have a good support system, I have a very passive aggressive sister who is a saboteur, but i don't blame anyone for where I am at now, I have only myself to blame, but I am tired of tghe negative blame game. Time to move forward! I am stopping with the sulking and feelings of ugliness, worthlessness, feeling stupid, I am tired of being filled with regret and self loathing. This is no way to live.
I am using myfitnesspal app for tracking my food, and mapmywalk to track my activity, though I am so tired all the time, just walking 10-15 minutes is exhausting, it is getting better, I am walking 30 minutes a day most days now.
In an effort to increase my motivation and support system, I am here! I am doing an 8K November 13, so there is no turning back. I'm already on a 83 day myfitnesspal streak! I am doing this and I can and will do better! Watch out diet betters, I'm in it to win it!