I fully intended to write yesterday but we started watching the Captain America movie on a whim and it was long and then I fell asleep! Oh well.
I've realized something. After seven full months of being on diet bet and really trying to understand myself, my eating habits, my exercise habits and finally addressing some challenges I've had for years, the scale no longer has control over me! It's amazing. There was a time in my life where the number on that thing used to be able to put me in an angry funk all day, or an elated glee. If it didn't tell me what I wanted to hear after a few weeks of effort, I used to give up and walk away from it. I'd eventually go back months later dreading to step onto it afraid of the gamble: will it make me so happy that I have an awesome day, or so angry and depressed I won't want to even look at myself? It's frightening how much power it really had. That power came when I was 7 years old. That makes me really sad too. I was so young! Anyway, because of diet bet I never ran away from the scale. I faced it a few times each week, some times winning my bets, sometimes losing. I've seen how wacky the scale really is! I can fluctuate seven pounds throughout the day depending on food and workouts and time of the month. I've been recording my weight for seven months too. It jumps around like a grasshopper, but there is very, very clearly a downward trend. I may not truly have appreciated that if I hadn't been recording it for so long and so consistently. So, by facing that darn scale it lost a lot of the power it used to have. Now I finally accept it as just some data to help guide me, not the end all and be all of everything I am. I can take so much pride in non scale victories now, like how I can basically do real push-ups! How I see more muscle definition in my legs than I've ever seen before, even compared to when I wad 30+ pounds lighter!
So, I still want to lose weight. I do. I still have all my vain goals of wanting to wear smaller clothes (and look GOOD in them! Ha!) but I feel such freedom right now from that silly scale.
Granted, having such a good month and sticking to clean eating and kicking butt (kind of) with my workouts might be inflating my sense of confidence about this, but hopefully I can hold on to it even if I have a less productive month down the road. :-)
Happy Saturday everyone. Don't let the scale get you down!