Anyone will tell you this is not the first time I’ve tried losing weight. This is, however, the first time I’ve taken before photos that have stayed on my phone or camera for longer than a day. And at this point, they’re even on the freaking internet!
I try to store little moments in the back of my head throughout this process, moments where something clicked that never did before. And yesterday I started thinking about my previous attempts and thought of all the times I took before pictures. I was always so embarrassed that within hours they were deleted, because god forbid somebody saw them. I started thinking even deeper. I think subconsciously I didn’t want those photos around because I was worried I was always going to look like that. I never truly believed I was going to look different, that I was going to change.
I’ve had successes in college, and some successes after college, but none like what I have done and am going to do this time. I realized the second I snapped my before photos in April I meant business. Sure, they lingered in a password protected photo vault app for a few weeks…but slowly I started gaining confidence and realizing that that photo was just a body. It was just my starting point. It was a beautifully flawed chunk of clay that I was going to slowly sculpt into a healthier, beautifully flawed chunk of clay.
I look at the photo constantly. I have multiple copies and an entire folder now of just weight loss photos. I get to see all the progress I’m making that the scale doesn’t show me. I expose myself to pictures of ME instead of just pictures of perfect bodies, and become more comfortable with what I see. Sure, I almost cried in a fitting room last week but I’m also wearing fitted running tanks for the first time since high school because even if my back fat bubbles over a bit, it’s bubbling out less than it did before and will bubble out less tomorrow. I wipe sweat off my brow with the bottom of my shirt because those stomach rolls are temporary, and way smaller than they used to be.
I actually believe I can and will look different over time if I keep going.
So to anyone starting out, take a picture of your start. Embrace it. You don’t even have to be in your undies, although there is something empowering about owning every dimple and lump. Just throw on a t-shirt and shorts, stand in front or your mirror, and say TODAY I’m going to change.
-From my personal blog "http://www.lifestylefitnessbylindsay.com/blog" documenting my journey in weightloss, self-acceptance and building a sustainable, healthy lifestyle.