Its not October yet!
It is that time of the year again! I always renew my weight loss efforts in the fall. Here is hoping that I continue in the coming new year.
I would like to reflect on 2014 and what it was that held me back.
In september, I had just transiitioned from a call center job that I was really sick of, to a new technician job that i was super excited about. Everything was going really well. I was trying hard to keep up the pace but it was a challenge and i really suprised myself by my sucesses.
I started get very focused in the fall about losing weight, but I have to go through a process. I began by looking for a gym to go to. I started investigating the faculty gym at the university where i used to work. This took me about a week to decide, this is surely lacking. I would have to drive across campus and walk a bit in the dark to get to a room, that was behind a combo lock, a room no bigger than my own bedroom, with only two treadmills and some random stuff.
So I knew this wouldnt work, and i resolved to join a gym in the city. I thought i would go back to my old gym, but I kept investigating other offerings. everything was a drive from home and work.
then I discovered they just built a gym near my house, planet fitness, and it was LITERALLY opened like a week prior. I signed up for black card. This means, all access plus free unlimited hydromassage and half price drinks (no sodas) and some other stuff i dont use.
I started to go routinely in december and carried on into january. I was actually feeling really great. I lost maybe half or one size in my jeans. I was happy.
Then, work got really stressful, and it seemed nothing was going right. It seemed my boss was constantly mad at me, and there were always more things to do ASAP and we just hired a few more students and I wanted to get them oriented. One saturday I went in so i could get the computers backed up before the students started, and on my way to staples, i was rear ended while stopped in a turning lane. Then he sped off. I chased him of course and had to stop myself because i was driving very fast and he was driving even faster! I was so upset.
My body was hurting for about two weeks, but it really wasnt that bad, i just knew something had changed. I wasnt in pain, but mentally i was off my game. work wasnt going well. no matter what i did, my boss wasnt happy. we had one deadline after the next. I couldnt take a vacation until i knew the major work push was over.
mentally I got worse. It doesnt take much to lose what you gained in workouts. In a month I was feeling back to where i had started. I visited the gym once a month. It was super crowded in january, which wasnt fun either.
the weather got warmer and more cheerful but I didnt. I had become clinically depressed. I started going to a counselor. I had come to the realization that my boss was verbally abusing me.
He told me to look for another job. I already had, but i didnt want to persue it because it looked like travel was involved I started exploring the possiblity of going through an ombudsman and all this other nonsense to fix problems with my current boss. I was convinced that I needed to just grow up and face the music.
Yet I felt trapped, depressed, angry, not able to see a future for myself, not making enough money, not knowing where I was going. I couldnt afford to live on my own with my current salary. i was living with my mom. I told my mom i felt trapped.
My counselor pushed me really hard to investigate this new job, and to not tell anyone about it, and also not commit unless i knew more. So i did.
within a week i interviewed and got an offer and I took it. It was the end of June. I gave notice then, and went on my normally scheduled week vacation, which was a true joy, and during my vacation, i pulled my back, very seriously. I was debilitated. I could only work 4 hours a day for the next 2 weeks.
I havent been able to move much at all, but i still had to travel to baltimore for a month. walking back and forth to work helped me keep my weight down, and i may have lost 2lbs.i have gained it back and more.
This week marks the first week that I did not wake up with stiff hips. although im on my cycle with cramps, i cant tell if its just my cycle and being bloated doesnt help either. I feel I am getting better and stronger. This friday will mark my 4th weekly visit with a physical therapist.
I told him my goal was to start running again so that i dont gain anymore weight.
Today is the first day that I have resolved to lose weight. from now on, its going to go down.
9/30/15
approximately 185lbs
goal 135lbs
Thanks jillian for everything you do.