I've always struggled with my weight. Even when I played rugby and took dance lessons I still would be labelled "the fat girl." It was hard on my self esteem. In 2003, after graduating high school, I moved out of province to go to college. It was over this year that my weight drastically increased - the worst part was that I didn't even really notice the gain until I moved back home.
Since that time, I have tried a number of diets and exercise plans - from pilates, to LA Weight Loss, to every Tony Horton video out there, but nothing stuck because I would always be too hard on myself or give up if I didn't see results after the first day.
Fast forward to April 2015. I decided to take a trip back home for my 30th birthday. It was at that moment I realized I was too fat for the airplane - I needed to make a change. I decided that as soon as I got back to Calgary, I would contact my friend for some advice because he is a personal trainer and would tell me exactly what I should be doing.
I've been working with my friend twice a week since May 2015 and I haven't been happier. Yes, it's hard work and there are many days when I just don't feel up to going, but I go anyway because I know I have someone counting on me, who will help me work through my problems, and has the confidence that I can do it even when I don't think I can. I haven't lost a significant amount of weight - only about 20 pounds, but I've gained confidence, can lift more than some men, and have lost a ton of inches! I even took part in a 10k run back in September, and even though I was one of the very last people to cross the finish line - I DID IT!
Some days I still struggle with the process of monitoring my macros, ensuring I drink enough water, getting to the gym, and staying motivated to stick with it. I think there is a part of me that is terrified to keep going on this journey in case I fail. I know that I have a great support system that I can lean on during hard times, but I would hate to disappoint myself if I gave up.
My focus has changed from worrying about the numbers on the scale everyday to trying to be the best me I can be, and that's all I could ask for. You can follow me on instagram if you're so inclined @cass_elward - I don't post often, but I'd love to build a larger support system :)