Hey guys. I hope it's ok. I need to talk about weight loss. I'm scared to go to my weigh in today. It's my regular Weight Watchers meeting but I totally don't want to go (I'm going, don't worry). I have 5 days left of my other DietBet, but I really don't know if I'm going to hit it or not. Last week I was 100% at my target, but after the house flood, I did not do well. We ate pizza for 3 nights (much pizza), I stopped tracking, I snacked on the snacks I'd gotten for Gen Con while feeling sorry for myself and fighting with my husband. Oh yeah, all my ACTION PLAN items went out the window. I ate. It was an exercise in poor choices. Yesterday I realized that my FitBit had not even synced (sunk?) since August 14. I'd been wearing it but it was totally dead. It has lost its motivation factor for me at this point. I've been having trouble with it not charging, and now the first blinky light seems to be burnt out but the others work fine. It's annoying. But I charged it. And I'm wearing it. And today I'm paying attention to it. I want my 7500 damn steps.
YEAH. Last week the basement flooded. It seems like such a small thing to say -- everybody's basement floods at one time or another, right? But it was bad, really bad, like my-mayor-called-FEMA bad, and this affected my life for a couple days on a catastrophic level. We frantically threw everything away to the curb, and it didn't really sink in for me how much we lost until later. It was a lot. Finished basement with a room full of stored stuff, and everything had to go. Like, his Grandmother's wood furniture type stuff. All the beautiful new laminate flooring my husband installed, that was the absolute worst. Blah. We're still not done with walls and junk. The floor is so ugly now. And now when it rains I freak. Thankfully we had help from my sister and my sister-in-law, who were just what the doctor ordered (my husband and I were freaking the F out too much to see clearly). These ladies are physically strong and their spirits are uplifting. I just thank God for them. My parents helped us too, since after four days of trying to clean up and fighting over who's a bigger hoarder (HE IS), my husband and I both felt like throwing our hands in the air and saying screw this crap I've had it I'm done. So when people show up to help, it feels really nice. We are hermits, he and I, and having company is weird for us. But when they came to the rescue, it lifted our hearts in the exact moment we needed it to. Things find a way of working out.
We missed our vacation. We still took the time off work, but my God. Worst vacation ever. My friends went to Gen Con as planned, and they played all the games in the world without us, and they probably bought all the new releases of Chessex dice and made a bunch of new friends they like better than me, but oh well. Games can still be played, dice can still be bought. I'll see the really faraway friends at the convention next year (as God is my witness), and the Chicago ones (my very favorites), I'll visit sooner than that. But we missed our vacation! An extra punch to the gut.
I came back to work on Tuesday, and I had the stubborn mindset of "My room is too messy for me to find workout clothes, so I refuse to work out." So I spent my breaks at work (my normal exercise timeslots) sitting around the lunchroom with ladies I hate. Every time they talk, my brain screams "shut up shut up idontcare idontcare shut UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!" It's a weird thing, the intense negativity I feel toward my coworkers. Most of them, actually. Not good. But today (Thursday?) I brought some clean clothes to work out in, and in the locker I normally use, I'll be damned if there weren't my workout clothes in there already. They were totally not stinky, either. I could have worn them easy. So basically I suck.
But so far today I've walked for 10 minutes, at lunch I'll bike for 30, and at P.M. break I'll walk for 10 more. After my walk, I sweat a lot. I was wearing jeans and a cardigan, but still I sweat so much more than normal people. But when I was done I felt insta-better. It's amazing really. Exercise feels really really good. Not while it's happening, but after. Exercise! Who'd've thunk.
It's worth it. Go do it.
TODAY, aside from my very nice half mile 10 minute walk (on a treadmill while reading brainless shit on my phone and listening to Pandora), I have also successfully chugged 8 cups of water before lunch. I would like to chug 8 more before I leave here, but I don't want to pee my pants on the drive home, so maybe 6 more is a good goal. I brought fruit to snack on, and I ate my yogurt snack in the morning because I never get enough protein in mornings, and so far I feel okay. I'll have a garden salad at 4:30 when I get home (mmm lettuce) [edit, no I won't, I have to weigh in at 6!!!], and then we'll have grilled chicken thighs and lots of roasted cauliflower for dinner. I got this giant head of cauliflower for $2 and it must weigh 50 pounds. And sweet corn from the farmers market. And I will be busy practicing my new GB song in the evening, so I won't be bored and snacky. That is key. TV = I'm snacky. Reading = I'm snacky. Ukulele, crocheting, creating something or other = don't need snacks!
Anyway, I had a setback. And I feel so guilty. And I'm scared poopless (POOPLESS) to go to my weigh in this evening.
But after that, I think I'll be okay.