Fresh starts seem to be a constant theme this time of year. Instead of making an extensive To Do list of things to accomplish or acquire, I've decided to turn inwards and make a blueprint for the next year of how I want to be. I know it will be challenging and involve an effort to leave behind the attitudes, ways of being and thoughts that have shaped who I have become. For this year I am going to leave in the past the following 3 things:
1. Negative self-talk and thought
2. Reacting to life events by turning to food
3. Hiding from living the life I truly want to be living
I know that changing these habits will not be easy and stumbles will be unavoidable, but I must try. This became ever apparent on New Year's Eve. I was at a small house party with 3 couples and as the clock struck midnight, the couples turned to their partner for a kiss. Being the only single person in the room, I could only stand there and take in the scene. Although the moment was fleeting, it was long enough for me to realize that I was staring in the face of a pattern. I have always put my career aspirations ahead of my personal life and at the age of 36 I find the time I have left to meet someone and have kids of my own is dwindling. I realized that if I don’t make a conscious effort to change my thinking and habits I was looking at a repeat for next year. At this point in my life, having a family of my own is my number one motivation.
So, as I toast the beginning of another year, I see 2016 as a book half-written. On the left hand pages are the journeys I have lived and on the right are blank pages yet to be written on. I’m excited to see what words, feelings and adventures will be transcribed on those pages.