My first DietBet starts tomorrow! I'm getting pretty excited to think I may have found something that is actually going to work for me. Sometimes you just know. I've struggled with my weight and self-worth for a while now. They seemed to be tied together. It started right out of high school. I met this guy and I thought he was amazing. Long story short...he was NOT! It only took me 7 years to face the facts and leave. But in those 7 years I lost who I was. I was a fun and loving girl. I was always happy, and I loved nothing more than to be with my family and friends. I was constantly on the go and love being active. But slowly that all disappeared. I got to a point where I almost could not make a decision without his opinion or approval. I think some of it was in my head, but the truth is he led me down that path. Throughout the downward spiral I lost my spark, my smile, my self-worth, and I began to gain weight. And believe me, he let me know. That only added to my problems. One day it hit me that I needed out. Badly. But it still took me years. I honestly just left like I was stuck. What would my family think if I left? What would his family think? Where would I go? Would I have any friends or would they all choose him? Even with all these uncertainties, I chose to work toward my happiness. I left.
I had waited so long, that I had forgotten what happiness was. I thought every once in a while that I remembered what it was like to be happy, but it would fade. It never lasted long. I would try to lose weight, but I would always gain it back, plus half. Then one day I met my husband. He was the new shift lead at the same retail chain I worked for. I was sent to cover a shift at his store and to train him. After the first day I could tell a difference in how I felt. It didn't take long before I knew he was "the one." Seriously, I think I knew after the first two weeks. We moved in together five months later. We walked and exercised together. I cooked healthy dinners. Before I knew it I was down almost 25-30 pounds. And really I wasn't trying I just wanted to do things with him. I was gaining my confidence back and by this point I had my happiness back.
About a year in, two years ago, I got a new job with a great company. The problem is that it is a desk job. I gained 50+ pounds in 12-18 months. I feel horrible and embarrassed. I reached my heaviest in the late summer/ early fall of 2015. I was so disgusted that I instantly cleaned up my act and lost 19 pounds. Since then I've gained 7 back, but considering the holidays, and that I got married in January, I've okay with it. Weight loss is the last piece of the puzzle for me. I want my confidence back. I want the freedom and empowerment back that comes with being in-shape and fit. I am determined to become my best.
I think too many time people settle for who they are at any given time. Too ofter I see something telling overweight people they are perfect the way they are and to be proud. It's not in reference to skin, hair, eye color, or some other characterist beyond our control,but rather to someone's size. Don't get me wrong, the most important thing you can ever do for yourself is to love yourself. If you love yourself, you're more confident and happy. If you love yourself, others will to. But society often forgets to remind you not to become complacent. It's almost just as important to better yourself as it is to love. Even if it is that you hold the door for one more person than you did the day before. Or you could go big and go back to school for your Master's. Or you could take a risk and try for a better job. Slowly I've worked toward all of those. Now I'm education myself on all aspects of weightless. The more you know, the easier it will be to succeed. Please don't take this as never being appreciative for the things you have or the place you're in for the moment. That is NOT what I'm saying. It will be impossible to ever be happy if you can't be happy in the one bedroom, galley style, duplex apartment with a hole in the floor, a leak in the ceiling, and a serious neighborhood cat problem. But it doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't have bigger dreams for yourself!
Dream big or go home! (Which is now a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home with an awesome front porch, a fenced in back yard, and our own personal gym. All purchased with the new job I took a chance on!)