So I have heard a lot about CrossFit lately, and decided I'd give it a go. After all, I could take my first class for free, so there was no loss if I ended up hating it.
The class was at 6, and I got there around 5:15 to sign waivers, get a tour, have time to change, etc. I was terrified, but everyone I talked to just kept telling me that once I get going Ill realize how awesome it is. And at 6, we got going.
I immediately fell in love. It was so similar to what I used to do on my own when I was healthy, but in a group environment. I hadn't really been pushing myself lately, but I'm slightly competitive (especially against myself), and believe a workout should be all or nothing. So we got started.
Warm up:
100m row (rowling)
Squats
100m row (rowling)
Burpees
Now rowling is a fun game they play in warmup occasionally. Basically you see how close to 100m you can get. Plus or minus the 100 is your score (so say you row 105m, your score is a 5). You then take your score, double it, and that is how many of the other exercise you have to do. For me I rowed 102m before squats, and 101m before burpees. In other words, I got it pretty good.
But by this point I was feeling some anxiety. Like Ive talked about in my past blog, I have PTSD, and my brain still trys to connect working out with sexual assault. But I didn't want to give in.
Next came our strength time. I was a first timer, and the other 2 were fairly new too, so we didnt do a EMOM, but every other minute. Front bar squats. 5sets of 8. Holy moly, why didnt someone tell me the bar alone weighs 35lbs!!!! But, by the last rep, Katherine (my wonderful trainer) convinced me to add some weight. So I was squatting 45lbs. I felt accomplished. I was ready for WOD.
WOD:
1,000m row
50 slam balls
50 hand to hand kettlebell swings.
Good God someone save me now!
And can I just say rowing looks WAY easier than it actually is. Like jsut wow.
But then I started to find a cathargic release in it. The warm up was for my benefit. The barbell squats were for my benefit. Heck, the rowing was for my benefit. But after the crappy day I had, the fact that I was slamming a ball about the size and weight of a head felt strangely good. I saw my rapists' face, and every slam was me conquring them. 50 times over. When I got to the kettlebell it was like every punch I wanted to throw. It felt good. I felt strong.
I finished at 12:54. Not bad for a first timer who learned all the moves and form that night. Or for someone who still has 38ish pounds to lose. I was encouraged by the others in my class, and while I almost felt like I may just collapse and die right there on the gym floor, the adrenaline and power coursing through my veings felt amazing. It was a feeling I'd missed for a very long time.
So now Ive found another form of therapy besides my weekly appointments. I start their 6wk challenge on the 29th, which is when my current DietBet ends, and I am so beyond excited. My only question is, what do I do for the next week without it? Because my heart is already that addicted to it.