My weight has been a yo-yo for as long as I can remember, though it wasn't this dramatic when I was younger. I used to be a competitive swimmer and often noted a 20lb weight shift in and out of swim seasons. I was thin and healthy and it didn't bother me too much. I had my 125lb swimmer clothes, and my 145lb off-season clothes. I never sweated the off-season gain, because I knew it would come off easily when swim season rolled around again.
As I got older, it got harder and harder to fit workouts into my life. The swing up always went higher, and the swing back down never got back to where it was. The last 5 years have brought about constant change (got married, several job changes, several moves, and 2 kids). Every time I'd get on a good weight loss plan and start having small successes, something changed and I couldn't sustain it long enough to meet my goal. Then the weight went back up.
So here I am, at 218. I've weighed this much before.....at the end of pregnancy. I know how to lose weight. I've done it before. But I'm unmotivated to start because I keep waiting for another big change to happen and throw me off track again. Will we have another kid? Will my work hours change? Will my husband's job change? I just need that swift butt-kick to get me going.
This is also a spiritual journey for me as I deal with my relationship with food. I am a Christian and always learned the importance of certain life disciplines - community with friends, serving others, time for church, time for prayer, rest, financial responsibility, etc. But I never learned why having discipline in the food / exercise realm was of spiritual importance. I started reading the book "Made to Crave" and so far have learned a lot about myself and my unhealthy relationship with food. I'd love to go into it more, but don't want this to get preachy. In short, I've learned that I eat when I'm tired. Instead, I should rest (if I can) and pray God gets me through if that isn't an option. Because eating something sugary isn't the kind of energy I need.
My plan - Move. Don't eat crap. Pray
That's it.