Hello everyone this is the very first time writing a blog :)
But i really wanted to get something of my chest wheter you read this or not i really wanted to share something what i've personnally got trough like many years ago (okay im not that old or anthying ) But it all started when i was 11 years old (now am 18 years old) i was going to school like everybody was right? This sound like a normal life right? my life was anything but normal. I was 11 years old i was a very shy girl. but it all started when i was a little bit youger like i was 10 years old. got to school.
And i always got bullied i never knew why. They always said that i was ugly that i was a alien like i can remember it. i never was aloudd to belong to anywhere i did'nt got any friends never got invited to birthdays because they didn't wanted me there. And there was a day when somebody invited me a so many years i could'nt believe i finally got invited to something finally belong somwhere i thought i was really invited. Than the schoolday comes to a end i was so happy with my invatition and suddenly that girl who gave that invatiation said to me : I'm really sorry but could you give me my invatition back. I asked why do you want to get it back that girl said : I did'nt wanted to invited you anymore and i wanted to invite somebody else instead of you. That's just torn me apart as a 10 year old. I did'nt belong in school i got bullied when i was going to school i got nightmares every night i was crying my eyes and i just did'nt understand why i dont belong there.
They were always laughing at me. And when there we had sportclass in school and you had the pick somebody out to play the game with. Everbody from the class said i dont wanted be in her team because she is soo bad.. or i always got picked at last always... Because i got bullied so much my parents decided that i had to go to a another school together with my twinsister... And we did but i got bullied again the teachers did'nt to anything about.. my selfesteem was as low as grass... and my image of myself changed so dramiticilly that i needed to change for myself. Because my life was out of control i projected everything on my food. Because i knew when i lost a little bit of weight i would be much happier. Than we started a competition on school between some girls in our class to lose weight.. I knew when i needed to belong somwhere i needed to change.. but i did'nt knew it was all ending up in a eatingdisorder. so the schoolvacation did begun
and i still remember working out for the first time when i was 11 years old because i was soo fat.. atleast in my eyes i was nothing... soo i did worked out for the whole summer vacation coming back after the summer vacation i lost sooo much weight i was just going from a healthy weight to a unhealthy weight.. going from just 50kg to a little 44kg after the vacation and that just in one month. with only starving myself to lose a little bit weight.. without eating i joined a track and field group.. i was running what i love and at the same time destroying my body... And i can rememeber one time i runned like 400m and i only ate that day like 500 kcals and suddenly i was feeling like i'm going to faint literlally i was feeling like if i fall back down now i'm in a big problem not only for myself but for others i thought i was gonna to die that evening cyclying back home shaking... knowing that i needed to come back home no matter what.. and suddenly i was not paying attention at road and suddenly there comes a car and he stopped just on time i thought he was gonna to hitt me.. i was so lucky in that moment...
My eatingdisorded was soo strong at the time that it lasted me a another 2 years before i got any help.. i needed almost be hospitalized because my weight was dangerously low..
i did recovered to a healthy weight again.. Still struggling sometimes but i in a better health than i was when i was 11 years old i lasted me untill 17 years untill got some help
i wanted to share my story out there because i know how hard it can be.
and that every human is struggeling sometimes and the most of the times only women and girls struggle with this.. that's not true eventough when your on a healthy weight does'nt mean your not struggling it only means how longer you wait to recover it only takes longer from your body to heal from all the damage that you've done to yourself but only to the people who loved you... my twinsister everybody.
sometimes things that happens in your life is triggering to going on that road again. But i know fueling my body with real foods and healthy foods helps your body to heal. And the truth is i got my diploma for my study i got a new job and still studying.
i ranned 10km this year and did the Colorrun last year. And doing just all the things that i loved that was just holding me back.. Running Living And Experiencing And Most off all learning to love myself for real and nothing is harder than that.. And The most important STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! YOUR UNIQUE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE :) And the most important is that im fueling my body the right way not counting calories anymore just enjoying my life again. :) My goal is the help people who are dealing battling and struggeling with this in the future :) just to be short enjoying living life again to the fullest :) And What i weigh doens't matter that anymore just being happy and enjoying every minute :) And my main wish is running a marathon in the future :)
i hope to help you inspire to live a healthy life not STARVING YOURSELF IS NOT THE OPTION!! NEVER EVER DO THAT! Just eat the right nutrition to fuell your body to help you lose weight that's the key. And if you have any questions what you wanna ask you can send me a email at thirza.1997@hotmail.com and i'm always be willing to answer or to help you in any way that i can i would love to do that :)
Have a nice Evening or Morning or just a nice day
And remember fuelling your body with right nutrition that's the key
That was My first Honest And maybe the harderst thing to write blog :)
Thanks for reading or commething i really appreciate that :)
Thank you all beautiful people :)