Welp, I did it. I submitted an official weigh-in for another DB starting yesterday, and I am down 3.5 pounds in 5 days! I am absolutely ecstatic. I successfully worked out 5 days last week, stuck to my eating plan, got plenty of sleep, and stayed hydrated. It boggles my mind that by just changing a few things in my life, I am able to see such a positive turnaround in so many other areas.
I had a real test of my dedication, emotional health, and patience on Saturday night, when I went out to a Taco Fest in my neighborhood with my roomies and some friends. That morning, I worked out at OTF (which btw, if anyone is looking for an intense, fun, and challenging workout, I highly recommend Orange Theory!), did a few hours of volunteer work at a homeless shelter, meal planned for the week, and found the PERFECT couch to purchase from Macy's, so overall I was having a really great day.
Getting to Taco Fest, I knew that I would be tempted to eat alllll the tacos, and obviously drinking (I literally worked in drinks into my weekly plans, so as not to disappoint myself if I go out with my friends and have a few drinks). But for some reason, this time was different. We ended up getting tacos, but I only got one that fit in with my high protein, low carb eating plan. The temptation wasn't even there anymore. One was enough. Fast forward a few hours later, and I had been drinking these spiked sparkling water drinks, which only had 2 g of sugar in each. I was pretty excited about my find, even though they had 100 calories in each. I can't say with full confidence that I had much self-control over how many I drank, but by 11 PM I was feeling great (read: tipsy).
We ended up going to a karaoke bar, and as I was standing behind my friend holding 3 Coors Lights for my roommates and waiting for him to pay the tab, some random girl literally out of nowhere came up to me, placed her hand on my stomach, and said, "Oh my gosh, when are you due?!" I was so confused at first, then I realized this was her thinly veiled way of being a mean girl and not so subtly telling me I am fat.
As soon as it hit me, my eyes started welling up a bit and I initially thought I was going to cry. But this new found peace and confidence in myself took over in a seconds time, and I made the decision to respond kindly, as obviously this girl is hurting very deeply on the inside to have to try to bring a complete and total stranger down to make herself feel better. There was no point in trying to call her out, call her names, or point out of inner hate of herself, because that would bring me down to her level. Instead I responded calmly, that no, I am not pregnant, I'm fat. This is who I am right now, she's not pointing out anything that I am not already aware of, and I'm not sure why my being fat makes her so uncomfortable that she has to point it out, and walked away.
I thought about that exchange for a while (and obviously still am since I am blogging about it) and went back and forth between feeling hurt, angry, and then pity for the girl. Right now I am at the place where I am feeling empowered. It just proved to me that you can be thinner and still not love who you are. What she did says much more about her as a person, as a happy, healthy, well-balanced person would never act in such a way. It empowered me even more to continue down this path for life, as self-care and self-love are ongoing acts, not just for 6 to 12 months to lose weight.
So here I am, happier, healthier, down 3.5 pounds this week, and ready to take on the rest of this week. I have found so much support here at DB, and I want to continue chipping away at all of the things that I am carrying (physically and emotionally). I am sending positive energy to that poor girl, as she could use some love and light in her life right now. I have so many good things around me, and I am so happy that these things empowered me to be the bigger (pun completely intended) person.
Here's to a great week everyone!