I have learned a hard lesson since Thanksgiving. I was doing quite well with my weight loss. It almost seemed easy. Then, I made a conscious decision to not feel guilty about eating some traditional goodies while on a special Thanksgiving vacation, then during Christmas weekend. I honestly don't think that decision and the accompanying small weight gain was/is the problem.
Instead, I think the problem is the self-destructive tape that keeps replaying in my head. The one that says, "See? I knew you were always going to be fat! I knew you'd gain all the weight back! You've been fat all your life -- that's not going to change. YOU'RE not going to change! Now you're going to lose all that money, too!"
Now, I know that over-the-top self-criticism is simply not true. I have not gained all the weight back. Moreover, it should be entirely possible for me to reach my goal weight in my Transformers and KickStarters and not lose any money. That hateful dialog is a LIE!
The worst consequence of the condemnation-that-won't-quit is that it nearly always results in a crazy compulsion to overeat -- or to eat things I've had no desire for since last January when I started using DietBet!
Time to learn something new -- or to put into practice a "trick" I learned long ago. I've got to "fake it 'til I make it." I've got to counter every internal criticism with a calmer, rational counter-argument. "Seriously? Get out of here! I've lost a ton of weight and kept it off! I'm eating healthier now than I have before, and I have a new wardrobe of smaller clothes that FIT! Yes, I gained a bit -- but MOST AMERICANS DO during the holidays. It may not be healthy, but it is certainly NORMAL -- and dropping those few pounds is completely doable. I will not tolerate your condemnation. I'm reversing this weight gain -- one ounce at the time if I need to. I'm not quitting. I'm not giving up just because you want to give up on me!"
I read an article that said one of qualities essential to ensuring longterm weight loss was self-efficacy -- that is, the belief that one could succeed. When I stop believing in myself, I stop trying. (Why would you try if you thought your efforts were in vain?) The answer for me is to continue to talk/act as though I do believe -- to rekindle that spark of belief that says "Look at what you have done! At how much weight you have lost! Absolutely you can do this!"
And yes, friend, you can too.