I usually give people the short answer.. I am doing this for myself, I want to feel better about the way I look, be healthier for my kids... blah blah blah... but deep down I know the real reason. Its because I am trying to get rid of someone that has weighed me down for years. I had my first son at 19 years old with a man that was 8 years older than me. Turned out when I was 1 month post baby that he was still married so like any smart and wonderfully independant woman I left with a 1 month old baby and a minimum wage job. I should have run the other way in the first few months that I knew him. This was an incredibly emotionally abusive and only one time physically abuzive relationship. When I had my son I had gained 60 pounds bringing me up to 190 and even though I lost weight after I had him it never stayed off. I was a single mom working three jobs after leaving at 19 years old trying to raise a child when I was still one in so many ways. I became an emotional eater, I was emotionally damaged if you will. Even to this day I think about that time of my life and I cry. By the time my son was two I had put up with so much court, arguing, breaking relationships, trying to mend them that I was emotionally shut down and drained. I had gained all that weight back and at 21 I was 190 pounds when I started at 130. I met my current husband when my son was two we dated he is an amazing man and so supportive about what I have to put up with. But I stayed heavy and then we recently had our very first son. I was 235 pounds after giving birth to my second beautiful child. Now I am back down to 190 and joined my first diet bet. I realized not to long ago that this man from my first son is weighing me down. All the stress and trauma that he puts on my life is on me in the form of pounds. Each pound that I lose is like me throwing one of those nasty comments that broke me back at him. I have learned that I dont have to just do what he says I can fight back, he doesnt control me. Today as I write this I am down to 179 and about to win my first diet bet because I want to pummle this man and show him that even though he made me believe that I was something else I am so much stronger than he thought. So the reason I am doing this isnt necessarily for me. Its to get revenge on him and I love every minute of that idea so far. So bring on the weight loss.
Posted on April 6, 2017
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