I have struggled with the same 25 extra pounds since i was 14. But then two years ago I was the thinnest I've been since probably 7th grade. I have 3 young children and was going through a divorce from my high school sweetheart. I have since left New England. my kids and I moved far away to live near my family. I am now the biggest I have ever been in my life. I am so active and typically energetic but since I have moved here all I want to do is sleep and eat. I gained 12 pounds the year before moving here and now since moving here in Aug I have gained another 12. I have a closet that is the size of my old bedroom with gorgeous clothes that do not even come close to fitting. I recently had to go shopping for bigger clothes. Something I will never do again.
I write a fitness blog www.bikinibakinglady.com because years ago people would see me with my 3 young kids and ask how I stayed so thin. I have lots of great recipes and fitness tips on it if you are interested but obviously i need help now too.
And guess what? I don't think I used to eat much and I worked out every day at least an hour a day and lifted heavy weights too. I'm embarrassed that I have moved to this new area and all of the new people I am meeting see me the way I am now and not the way I want to look. My outside now mirrors my inside.......needs improvement and definitely still recovering from my divorce. Having such young children during the negotiating phases of my divorce allowed me to put off my grieving which I am now feeling. Stuffing my face with crazy but healthy foods has not helped my heeling process emotionally so why do I keep doing it? My trigger foods are nut butters, medjool dates, avocados, pure pumpkin purée (I can eat a whole can of it any day of the week) and fruit. I am so sick and tired of eating so much that I cant bend over! I am confident that my competitive and frugal side will return and I will beat the scale, get my money back and feel better on the outside as well as the inside.
I have 2 sons and a daughter and I keep thinking that if any of them ever treated their body the way I am treating mine right now I'd be so sad and disappointed with them. I should treat myself the way I want my kids to treat their bodies. Gently and kindly.
Recently a man called me chubby. A funny side of me didn't care and it made me want to eat more..... So much that I can't move and feel so tired and comatose. Don't worry..... I did the most important thing, told that man to get lost. And now hopefully I can lose some weight. Not for him or anyone else but for me because I deserve it and I deserve energy and a long happy life.