To date or to change

Posted on October 19, 2014

Growing up in a baptist church and school it was always taught that "man should not be alone". But being alone(dateless) spurs you to want to change things in your life. Not just physically but spiritually/mentally.

Being single, 30, and surrounded by the world of online dating makes putting yourself out there extremely hard. These site make you feel extremely vulnerable, inadequate, and judged when posting your most current photo. Majority of dating websites are filled with people who say they want one thing but actions prove they want something else. Just great, if I wasn't already self-conscience enough lets add some sketchie guy asking about what size my boobs and butt are. Plus there are those that say they only want fit girls and do not give your current round body, that is in transition, a try. I feel sorry for those people because they do not give the unexpected a chance(I can hike, float, and etc. just as good as a skinny girl).

With all of this angst comes the thought, why do I give a crap? Is it more important for me to have a date or is it more important for me to make a change and live a full life?

Honestly I can say that the change is more beneficial then any ignorant person who isn't worthy of my time. I lost site of that recently because I was feeling lonely, but honestly I would rather feel lonely then feel not good enough any day. Dang it, I am good enough for whatever I want. So I am not going to worry about a date but I am going to continue to focus on the change(being like my great aunt sarah would be a blessing 90+, still drives, took care of her siblings, and traveled plus lives a full active independent life to this day).

Keeping it moving.

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Anneisolde

10/26/2014 7:58AM

Good for you for working on your physical self. Eating better and exercising consistently make you feel better regardless of the number on the scale that can sometimes be so stubborn. Feeling good and happy with yourself begets happiness in other areas of your life.

Gigglesgurl7014

10/19/2014 7:09AM

To this i say that sometimes when you stop looking for love someone will come along when you least expect it

Gigglesgurl7014

10/19/2014 7:08AM

I use to do the same thing, I was on dating sites after I had my son. His father disappeared into the military and I was what I thought at the time, lonely. I tried dating sites for a year or so, one year at thanksgiving I went to get get food for my son and I and my grandfather made a heart wrenching comment to me that I didn't need to eat my uncle needs to eat before me. At that point I slammed my plate down and walked out wiht my son, I was so heart broken and hurt by the hateful comment my own grandfather made to me and he had no clue he hurt me. After that I started taking pills and working out and got my shit together. I lost over 30lbs ina few months, One day my friend introduced me to WOW (World of Warcraft)and me and him would game online and at the same time he introduced me to his friend online. After a few months we became great friends,after a year and a half his mom was moving out and he had no where to go and moved into my spare bedrooms after a month we started dating

Chrissie

10/19/2014 5:50AM

It's not a dating site, but have you ever looked into meetup.com. It is a site where you can search for groups based on interest and the groups plan public outings. I have joined a few groups and gone to some events. They were fun and I met new people to hang out with. They have some exercise groups that are fun. We like the outdoor groups. You can friend me through here if you want more info.

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Brit

10/19/2014 5:26AM

I do not have any experience with the online dating scene, but I know there are so many shallow people in this world. I imagine it would be difficult. I agree with you that you should just focus on you. Focus on the the things you can change. You wouldn't want to end up with someone who only wants a skinny girl. There is so much more to you than the physical. I wish you the best of luck and hope you keep moving!

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