This last week has been a rough one. I was sick the week before so I had a big drop in weight, 5.4lbs to be exact. I knew that some of that was because I was dehydrated but when my weight went back up a couple of lbs I got really discouraged. It's completely irrational for me to feel like I failed but it's exactly how I felt. It made me feel so down that I was so close to falling back into my old ways. I wanted comfort food; greasy, cheesy, breaded, fried crap that I have completely cut out of my life. I wanted it so badly that I cried almost every single day. I wanted to eat all the time, hungry or not, food was constantly on my mind. I've been able to go out, be around food, and not have any issues with it...up until this last week. It's been 10 weeks since I've started this and this was by far the worst week. Even the trip to go grocery shopping was hard. Every fast food restaurant, starbucks and Ice cream shop I passed by the little voice in my head kept saying it would be ok to do it. Just stop and pick something up. No one will need to know. I was willing to let myself feel horrible both physically and mentally so I could shut that stupid voice up. I honestly don't know how I kept my composure. I allow myself 1 "cheat" meal a week but I haven't let myself go crazy. I pretty much stick to my plan and don't really allow myself to have something forbidde. I'm thinkining thst once this first round is over I need an actual cheat meal. Maybe once I do that and see how unsatisfying it really is and how much it makes me feel physically awful I can move past this funk I've fallen into.