Hello Everyone!
I am 31. A mother foremost. A wife. I have always been overweight. I have always had large thighs and "batwings". I remember a sister's wedding. I had to have a different dress than all of her other bridesmades because of the thickness of my arms. I was like 12. I am very uncomfortable with the size and shape of my inner thighs.. Basically from my neck to three inches above my knees it all needs to be toned, tucked, reshaped and much much smaller! I am a very self conscious person.
This is a journey for me. It begins with this one step and many more small steps to come!
I am young, or so people keep telling me. I feel very very old!
I am a type II diabetic. My diabetes became diagnosed about 10 years or so ago. I was young and invinceable. I didn't want to hear what the doctors said! I didn't take the metformin they diagnosed. I ate whatever, whenever and gained weight. I didn't exercise and felt like crap!
While pregnant I was a perfect patient. I did it for my child! How is it that I can take care of me for HER, but not for ME? How mentally Fd up is that? True though!
I would like to think that I am a bit older, perhaps a bit wiser now. I hope!
As of January I went back to the doctor. I walked in and told them point blank that my sugars were high. That I needed medication and that I wanted to change! They said that they had no relationship with me and needed blood first.
fine!
two days later they frantically called and gave me what I told them I needed.
My first A1C of this year was 14.7. Yeah, I know!!! ( my latest one is a 7.9)
My cholesterol is a bit high, I am borderline hypertensive.. basically everything chedked out I was either borderline or on the bad side.
One would think that at that point a light bulb would go off and I would decide that death at this age sucks and I begin doing something for mysefl...
kind of I did... not really.
I am a knowledge seeker, a book addict. I began resarching. I love learning. It's hard as hell to put my knowledge to work fo rme. I am lazy. I will admit it. I am lazy. I wish I wasn't. I fancy myself a Type A, go getter.. I am not sure that I am.
What I hope is that due to my past 15 year of over weight, diabetic lifestyle that I have become complacent and thtat now I am changing that what I am doing yesterday and today makes it a reality where I am about ready to find the true me!!
This past week has been great. It actually started 2 weeks ago. I went to my doctor and told her that I no longer wanted to be on insulin. She laught at me and told me, " You will never be off your insulin!"
She told me that I would need Weight Loss Surgery aka Gastric Bypass in order to never need insulin again...
I said OK. Lets get started... That was about the time I learned about Dietbet....
So, I went to the first class for the Weight Loss Surgery with Kaiser. I didn't learn much. I had already been researching it.
I did get a paper telling me all that I would have to do before I got surgery.. like stop smoking ( I don't) I need to drink water (this week every day its been over 110 ounces ` half my body weight" in ounces) I need to journal ( everything I have eaten since Wednesday has been journaled) Exercise.. (squats and push ups so far)
I am nervous because I have yet to hear back from Kaiser and if I am approved I am nervous and not 100% sure I want my insides surgically re~arranged...
However, in the mean time... I am down from 223.8 to 220.4.
It's crazy that I work this way, but just let someone tell me 'YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO..." yeah, my response...
" Bitch please, WATCH ME!"
My goal, weight loss surgery or not is 135. Realistically I want to see 160 and would accept the miracle of 135.
My 32nd birthday is Aug 3. This WILL be MY year! I WILL find my inner skinny! I WILL!!