FOOD FOOD FOOD has always been my comfort!!!  I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually as a child, so learned early on to turn to food.   My weight has always fuctuated up and down, doing fad diet after fad diet.   Looking for that magic pill.  4 plus  years ago, I realized no such thing as a magic pill.   Just then, someone in our town decided to do a "Biggest Loser" Rifle style.   (I live in Rifle, Colorado).   It was $50 to join.   I am very motivated by competition and especially if I have money on the line.   I also, don't like to fail.   I was told growing up over and over and over  I was a failure, and would never amount to anything.     SO in my mind I had alot to prove.    I followed the weight watchers plan!!    Well, after the 12 weeks..........YEP I was the first place person winning over $1000.00.    I loved absolutely loved for the first time how I looked.   I lost 66 pounds.    A few months after that, my husband burned on his face, head, neck, arms and back.   Spent quite a bit of time at the burn center in Denver, which is about 3 hours from our home.   I stayed down there with him, VERY stressful time.    I did not resort to food.....I was very proud of myself.    I even worked out during that time at the hotel I stayed at, and taking walks outside when my husband would go get his burn areas scrubbed down.     My husband and I have1 child, a son....and he has been estranged from us for over 7 years with on again off again communication.  It has been a horrible emotional roller coaster.   He is married to a girl with a very serious personality disorder, and has brainwashed our son into believing my husband and I are evil people.   SHe has alienated our son from just about everyone from his past.   It breaks my heart cuz the 3 of us were SO SO SO close.    They had a son in October 2011, which was hard not knowing anythingabout him,never getting any pictures etc.   When they had baby #2, in September 2013........I tanked really bad.   I don't even know the first child, and now they have a 2nd.    I began to eat again.   Then My job became very stressful.   The more I worked on myself with a spiritual counselor and became very religious, the more a supervisor not mine, wore on me.   SHe gossiped all the time sharing very personal information.   I asked her one day if she should be sharing this very personal info of one of her sub ordiantes.   To make a long story short, she is in the good ol boys club with HR and the superintendent of the schools.   I got written up for being unprofessional and they were questioning my character.   I almost got fired over that.   Lies, lies lies came out of the HR and this supervisor's mouths.   Anyway, they pushed me so far and this past AUgust after 5 long months of BS I walked off the job.   I felt like a huge weight lifted off me.   In the end, 2 of the 5 school board members are on my side, can't believe how twisted this all was.  One even testified with me against the school.   ANyway...........between our son stuff and this BS with this job that I had been at for over 6 years and always got stellar evaluations from my supervisor.   I ate myself into gaining 40 pounds back.    Very disappointed in myself, but shows me that my food addiction behavior is still in me.   I need to really work on that.......tis that being my new years resolution.   Once and for all the food addictions I want GONE.   I will once again work with my spiritual counselor of which she is a life coach too.   SHe has helped me by leaps and bounds, and so proud of all the work I have done.