Suffice it to say, I gained weight through an incredibly hard time in my life. It has been very helpful to me the last couple of years to sort out why I was so unhappy and what caused me to get to where I am. I highly recommend lots of introspection to everyone, especially if you are struggling and don’t know why, but rehashing it now probably won’t be helpful to me. I think focusing on the future, which I finally have the luxury to do, is much more productive.
I very recently made the bold choice to quit grad school. Each day I’m thinking more and more that I will always look back on that at that as the positive turning point in my life. I’m teaching part time now and incredibly lucky to have a supportive boyfriend, so I can now focus on myself, my health, and my happiness! Things are completely different for me now. I’m even doing this whole losing weight/getting back in shape thing out loud! I mean, I’m TELLING PEOPLE! Sounds silly, and simple, but until now I was so ashamed! I didn’t want anyone to know that I had a problem (be it obvious or not to others). I didn’t want to need help from anyone. I wanted to secretly diet. I didn’t even want people to notice that I’d lost the weight, because for ages I was just really hoping that they hadn't noticed I gained it in the first place.
So, things are different this time. I am talking to my boyfriend and my best friend about my goals. I have this dietbetter community to come to. I find so much inspiration in other’s posts and I feel like I am not alone. I’m even working on doing daily blogs as another means to be open and honest about my fitness and weight loss goals. It is amazing to have a sense of camaraderie through this.
I am excited about the future and for not being secretive about this. I can do this! We can do this!