I haven't shared this with many people but need an outlet finally.
This past Sunday, my grandmother passed away.
She was about 100 years old (maybe a bit older). No one truly knows due to the lack of birth certificate and when she was young, birthday parties weren't really a thing.
I haven't seen in her over 8 years as she lives on the opposite side of the planet but I loved her just the same.
Whenever we were together, I knew I was safe with her and she would never judge me for who I was. I could be fat or skinny, tall or short, a rebellious teenager or a mature adult, she loved me never the less. I always found it hard to fit into my family but she always reminded me that I was loved. I appreciated every moment of that and I hope she knew.
My Fiance and I drove up to my own mother's house to be with her Sunday and there I also met with many of my family members. The amount of people who just wanted to give me a hug was amazing and it just reminded me how much love there really is.
When we came home and I lay in bed just thinking about all the times I spent with my grandmother, I found a little flame inside reminding me to keep pushing through and be the best I can be. I know my grandmother would have wanted the best for me and perhaps that was her telling me to get off my butt and just be the best I can be.
I have pushed myself to workout so far twice this week and will continue on. I have prepared healthier meals and pushed aside the urge to get fast food. She would want me to be healthy and thats what I have to do.
My grandmother left behind a family of 125 of us (4 generations) and we still are growing. I hope whereever she is, she sees us all smiling because of her.