I was sooooo in denial.  The scale and my pant size kept going up but I still thought I wasn't that fat AGAIN.  I had my daughter take the pictures and had a little trouble uploading them. I was reluctant to have my husband help me because I didn't want him to see my fat pictures!!!! LOL, he sees me all the time, I was the only one that hadn't been looking at myself! Well denial is OVER.....reality is here.  I can either choose to be fat or get fit.  Telling my self that I am not that fat is such a lie, but only to me. I remember be fit, wearing a size 4, it felt GREAT. I had all kind of energy and was not reluctant to go places because of how I looked. I tell myself that being fit felt better than food taste but obviously not or I wouldn't be here again.  You know though....it really isn't my willpower that sucks, it is my coping skills.  Sad, give me a cookie, mad, give me a cookie, frustrated, bored, lonely, grieving...GIVE ME A COOKIE! I have a hard time dealing with any emotion. I am feeling motivated, not only to get fit but to deal with my issues in ways I know work but aren't as easy as grabbing food.