Cheating is something that really sets me back, oh how it sets me back! Thing is I struggle with small cheats like having only one chocolate, one glass of wine per week, it's hard to make that fit with the social aspect of food I am used to and so instead it's like an on switch is flipped and there's no off until I've completely overdone it. The worst part is I don't feel great or even good when I eat a large meal, I feel stuffed to my gills, sick to my stomach and just pretty miserable, so why do I do it?
Looking at me now as an adult I see a lot of the habits I have, come from how I was raised. For example I hate going anywhere at night in winter. That comes from living in a small farming community in Africa where at night in winter no one went anywhere ever. There was nowhere to go first off, you stayed indoors to keep warm, and there weren't even any street lights in most areas.
Same thing for why I am always barefooted unless I have to put shoes on to actually do something. Why don't I ever wear a proper thick coat? I didn't grow up in such cold weather, we never needed it. Shoes in summer were also optional. I also hate being cooped up indoors and love the warmth of the sun on my skin. I can't handle air conditioning, it's funny because people who know me, know these quirks. Co workers would often tell me in Summer to go ahead and wait outside for them in the sun so I could bake and thaw out before heading to lunch out. It's interesting if you analyze how much of you started waaaayyyy back when.
So I guess the food thing did too. My mom came from Italy and her large Italian family lived next door to us. We grew a lot of our food, fruits and veggies and everything was mangia mangia , big family affairs with everyone always cooking and loving each other through large Italian meals! That was how we socialized. It's how I socialize and love people today. The only good thing is I don't overdo it on a daily basis but I do overdo it to a point where it's counterproductive and that matters.
Well times have changed, my mom is no longer with us and our family dispersed. I miss them but this is my life now. It's time to explore new ways of loving and socializing. I want to do things differently in a way that I can create a future instead of rehashing a past that had its place in time that I can rather remember and enjoy those memories than feel like it's holding me back.
In support of this I'm going to pledge to look for non food related ways this next month to replace that which was always done as food centered!