Lately, I've been a mess of depression. I have no motivation to do anything, my temper flares wildly, and I can not stand the person I see in the mirror (and it's not because I'm over-weight, but instead because I know I could be so much more and am allowing myself not to be). These things have kept me from great opportunities, progress, and making friends- this has not been a good combination for myfirst year of University.
But I can't keep reminding myself of that.
I recently got a new job just a block off campus- to me that screams progress and seems to be a sign that life needs to get moving again. I need to do more than sit on my ass scrolling through Tumblr (not to say I'll ever stop using my Tumblr, just, I need to do more than just that).
Sure, I joined DietBet again to try to lose a little weight- but really it's so much more than that to me. This is about fighting through depressive feelings and regaining the person I once was- this is about trying to get back to a place where I can genuinely say that I feel happy. I will feel good to lose some weight- but really this is about getting into habits, doing more, and not becoming a slave to any of the things I have been recently.
I need this.
I can do this.
I am the Phoenix.