Yesterday I joined my third dietbet game.
I weighed more yesterday than the first time I started by journey, and the most I've ever weighed in my life - 160 lbs. One year ago, when I completed my last dietbet, I weighed 147 lbs. I managed to keep that weight for about six months. And, even though it was nowhere close to the 130 I've been at in my 20s, it was nice to have a constant weight.
So, what was it like to seeing the scale top at 160 yesterday? To my surprise, it wasn't really a shock. I was expecting it. It's been a stressful 6 months, and stress is my #1 indicator that I'm gaining weight. It's easy for me to figure out how to stay healthy when everything is going well. I haven't been able to figure it out when the going gets tough.
This year, I only have one resolution: to be kinder to myself. I'm not going on a single diet. I'm not going to shame myself into behaving better. I'm going to accept my body and myself at whatever point I am. But I'm also going to apply myself to my health, and focus on maintaining healthy habits. I'm going to win this dietbet without starvation and over-exercising, and without obsessing about the scale. This dietbet is about making smart food choices, exercising because it feels good, and keeping myself accountable in a way that I can sustain long after this game is over.
I'm naturally a fan of vegetables and healthy food, and I don't eat fast food. Still, I overindulge in scrumptious food and drink, and I have a hard time maintaining accountability. And, if I am honest with myself, I must admit that I turn to food when I am stressed and feel like I cannot control the changes in my life.
I don't know how to change those behaviors yet, but I have been working on making two changes to my life. The first is to find good routines and keep them, adapt them when necessary and keep in mind that this weight loss journey is only one side of a complex life. The second is to make myself verbalize three intentions for the day, every day, while I go on a walk with my spouse and our dogs every morning.
And that may just be the key: one foot in front of the other, with happy tails wagging ahead.