My journey to under 200 lbs. has not been a fad diet. It has not been magic pills or some quick gimmick on TV. It has been trial and error. It has been starting over again and then again. It has been a constant commitment to not give up, to try again. I would dedicate this try to my daughter then the next time to my son. It has been long prayers on my sore knees begging for my Heavenly Father’s help. This is my story of how I conquered my emotional overeating habits. This is my story of how I changed my life. I dedicate this blog and all my efforts to the love of my life Andrea.
Years ago I was a timid scared college freshman. I had recently been laid off from a full-time job and had no direction in my life. I had a small young family and the future was scary and uncertain. My wife and I looked at unemployment as an opportunity to go back to school. I was a non-traditional student entering college for the second time. The first time was a miserable disaster. I was coming from a retail management background that gave me little hope for my family’s future. All my life I knew I loved media. I even started my own DJ Company at the age 16. So when I was laid off from retail management I wanted to do something that I would love to do every day. I wasn’t sure what that would be but I knew that obtaining my education would be the only way I would be able to achieve any worthwhile goal to support my family.
In my mid twenties I went through many challenges. Both my wife and I were fulltime students with two children under the age of 4. Our marriage wasn’t healthy and love wasn’t found in our home. My oldest brother, who was my best friend, went to jail. My wife and I soon divorced. My children moved 3000 miles across the country and depression became my best friend. I soon found myself looking into the mirror and not liking what I saw. I saw a inactive overweight young man. I didn’t have the energy to play with my children. I took frequent naps and after work I was useless. I wasn’t a husband or a father. I wasn’t the sole cause of my divorce and as the saying goes, “it takes two to tango.” However, I certainly had my faults. I needed a desperate change. My attitude wasn’t if I was going to take my life it was when. The only thing that kept me alive was bad timing. I would kept telling myself “I can’t do that now because of …” (my mother's Birthday is now or Christmas etc.) I didn’t want to hurt my loved ones with bad memories during a happy time. With support of my family I was able to see that I needed counseling. After several sessions of therapy it was advised that I needed to keep my mind busy and myself active. I needed to stop dwelling on the negative in my life. Try to see the positive. I was struggling in school and almost ready to drop out.
I turned to media as an escape and an answer. I hungered for it. I wanted to learn everything. I soon volunteered at the University’s in-house media studio. This helped me to focus on reality and too cope. It gave me a healthy outlet to focus my attention. Soon this position turned into a full time job. This job and my education saved my life. I turned to a healthy outlet instead of going down a path that only lead to despair. When negative thoughts entered into my mind I would immerse myself into my work. I loved it and it would always help me realize that there is a future! I knew that I could and would be successful . . . but it didn’t stop there.
Back then I was 384 lbs. and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Previously, while serving an LDS mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I developed a heart condition, which ultimately required me to leave my mission. Within two days of being home I was required to undergo eleven hours of heart surgery.
I realized I needed to lose the weight that I put on while dealing with a bad marriage and depression. My doctor was worried about my overall health and the stress my heart was under. So I decided to buy a local gym membership. This was emotionally draining and I remember only being able to exercise on the elliptical just a few minutes and being horribly embarrassed. I would start and stop and start again.
I remember sharing this with a friend of mine named Nate Mathis. I meet Nate while working for the University’s Studio. At that time Nate was the Athletics Marketing Director for UVSC. I formed this relationship by working with him and others in Athletics at UVSC to produce the various Athletic broadcasts. Nate started running with me and encouraged me to join him at the gym. Not caring what others thought, Nate would just encourage me to go. Other Athletic personnel became involved and gave me athletic school apparel to wear when I exercised. This made me feel that I was part of them and represented them. It gave me the necessary pride and the encouragement to deal with the pain and the embarrassment. Today I am down to less than 215 lbs.
This wasn’t easy it was hard work and a commitment to change. Change has to come from within. It cannot be forced. Looking back I have summarized my keys to success.
Encouragement- you have to have a support group. For me this was a colleague at work and family. It also was wearing attire that made me feel that I was apart of something special. They gave me encouragement. This can be a social media group, friends, or family. You need to be honest with them about your struggles and your successes. They will help you when you are down but also give you praise on your successes. Be committed to engaging with this support group as much as you are about losing weight.
Understand and realization of the facts – this was the most difficult challenge for me and in my opinion for almost everyone. The plain fact is that losing weight is HARD. It takes time A LOT of time. There is no quick solution. Losing weight is simple elementary math; calories in must be less then calories out either through diet, exercise or both. You have to be honest with yourself and realize your habits and understand your weaknesses. Take the time to count your calorie intake. Consult a doctor or a nutritionist and make a game plan that is healthy for your lifestyle.
Accountability – this is key. Using apps that count calories for you. Or social media programs that challenge others are very healthy. It creates friendly competition and also helps you realize how out of balanced your calorie intake really is. The first step of success is accountability to one’s self.
Proud to be me – You have to like yourself. In today’s world of social pressure and media we all think we have to look a certain way. We constantly compare ourselves to others. This is wrong. You need to see the positives in your life. You have to find the reasons you want to live. You have to find the passion to change. The simple truth is for most people they see little change with a lot of work. It takes time to see change. Without the proper motivation you will quit. You need to set small realistic goals that will add up to big goals. “Rain drops become Streams. Streams become Rivers. Rivers become Oceans.” Failure often is because we deem success to be total completion.
Currently I am much healthier. I have lost over 150 lbs. through diet and exercise. This took me over 4 years. It was starting and stopping but never quitting. I have more energy and I feel more alive then I ever have. I play with my children and am happily married again. Today the future is bright. Being active and exercising has been my Prozac. Exercising has helped me cope with difficulties in my life. This is a continued struggle in my life and my journey isn’t over…
But if a Regular Joe can do it… So can you
Regular Joe