I have always been of the mindset that, when it comes to certain foods, it is easier (for me) "to have NONE, than to have ONE". To put it another way, I once heard compulsive overeating described as "one is too many, a thousand is never enough".

Over the years, different tools and ways of eating/living have helped me at different times. Like many people, I had some big successes with the Weight Watchers Points System. Also, a BIG part of learning about myself and my relationship with food was my membership in Overeaters Anonymous for several years--and when I was really working that physical/emotional/spiritual program, I LOST a lot of weight, and kept it off for a long time. I've never found "DIETS" to be successful for me per se, instead always preferring to eat in way that would be sustainable indefinitely.

Approaches that other people describe as "hard" or "limiting" I usually find to be just the opposite: I was vegan for four years without a "slip", and I once went two years eating NO SUGAR at all besides the natural sugars found in fruit or grains. Indeed, times where I have had CLEAR (yet reasonable) boundaries, I have been most successful physically, and most at peace mentally.

I used to immediatly write off people who suggested, "all things in moderation" and "you can't deprive yourself forever"...I was rigid in my thinking, and would often say of such comments: "well, that person obviously has never dealt with food addiction" or "yes, you CAN live forever without chocolate cake, just as you can live without heroin!" :)

Fortunately, over time my world view has expanded, and I now can see how some people do well with moderation, some with firmer restrictions, some with NO program to follow, others WITH a program...eating Paleo, eating Vegan, eating intuitively, eating "dirty", eating "clean"...I am finally starting to get it: while certain biological realities apply to all humans, to some extent, each of us is a unique snowflake.

In this, the ultimate question becomes not "What works?", but instead, "What works FOR ME?"

Even though I have known for a long time that I am the "I-do-well-with-boundaries" type, I have spent the last few months eating more intuitively. I have kept junk food out of my house, because otherwise I tend to binge when I am home alone in the evenings, but I have made certain allowances. I have attempted, and mostly succeeded at, MODERATION. I have ordered a mini cannoli after dinner in a restaurant, and enjoyed it. The world did not end. I even ate ice cream from Carvel ("Dairy?! And high fructose corn syrup?! Didn't I see something on Facebook about Carvel cakes containing ROCKET FUEL?!")...and again, it was yummy, satisfying, and I did NOT blow up into an airship overnight. My weight seemed about the same, and mentally, I was pretty happy.

But now that I have done "moderation" for a while, all I can say (again, FOR MYSELF) is; "Meh."

It's cool in a way, but sooner or later, it ALWAYS leads me to some kind of binge, or overindulgence, or indigestion. If one treat is week is working, how about two? If Carvel is okay to eat, how about chocolate, or a nice slice of cake? It just becomes too easy to eat foods that, to be HONEST, make me crave more. And my family has a strong history of Diabetes, Heart Disease, and other obesity related maladies.

Often I would think to myself, "eating all kinds of food in moderation is probably pretty healthy," but then my next thought would be, "yeah, but, doesn't most of America eat that way? A sort of default, eat a little of everything, approach?" And if I had to describe most of America, I would NOT use the phrase "pretty healthy".

So, this was a LONG blog post just to say, it feels good to be BACK! For today, and the next 29 days, I am counting cals, eating clean foods that agree with my system, and avoiding personal trigger foods. Anyone who wants to join me with a 30 day challenge of their own is WELCOME! You don't need to follow any "written" program; I devised the boundaries of my 30 Day Challenge myself, based on what I know works for me. See you all in the DB message board, and thanks for reading!