The weight wasn't hard to put on! One night out for drinks, another night out for dinner with a girlfriend, chocolate splurges on the couch, and lets not forget my regular: stopping by McDonalds on my way home from work and throwing out the trash at the 7-11 so my husband wouldn't know...and still eating dinner at night so he wouldn't suspect anything. Yes, its terrible--shameful even! And with each bite I was creating a terrible habit inside myself.
I hate healthy food.
There I said it. All my excuses, "just for today", "just this once", "I will start tomorrow", started me down the steep hill of the junk food express.
...
"Mom, I want fruit snacks."
"Mason, you can't have fruit snacks for breakfast. That is a snack. You need something healthier. How about yogurt, cherrios, scrambled eggs, or fruit?"
"(Sigh) Fine! I'll just take eggs then."
I scramble Mason his eggs and he is eating them at the table. Meanwhile I am on the side of the fridge eating chocolate chip cookies. All the while thinking, "Really, Meg? Really! Great example for your kid...hypocrite."
...
How did it ever get this bad? I used to run 3-4 miles a session. I played volleyball in college. I used to be a size 4. During my workouts I could put my hands on my hips and feel my hip bones. I could feel my quads bulging out of my legs. My abs were visible.
Now I can't bend down without my pants squeezing against my stomach. I have a muffin top...and not the skinny girl muffin top...a giggly, wiggly, figgly muffin top! When I sit down, there are THREE rolls on my stomach. And sometimes I count them just to make sure another one hasn't suddenly surfaced.
The strange thing is though, I didn't realize I was overweight until I was really overweight. All while I was packing on the pounds I kept thinking I was a size four. Strange, huh?
Here's to the change!
I used to love working out. Craved it actually. I would schedule my life around my volleyball schedule and working out. So I know that fire is in there somewhere. It has been 8 years since I was on a consistent working out schedule, but I think I am finally ready to start again. There were many, many, many times that I thought I had enough of being unhealty and gaining weight, but I wasn't because I would let myself fail. The excuses would crawl into my head and I'd give them second thought, then I'd side with those excuses. They'd range from good excuses to down right pitiful ones: I have to work tomorrow, my head hurts, I just ate a whole pizza..what's the point? (Yea..true), it's already 9pm and Mason will be up by 6:30am, I'm to tired, today was a suck ass day, these chips would be so much better.
So here's to changing myself! To finding that fire inside myself that when my legs are on fire and I'm letting the excuses enter my mind I will say, "NO! I can do this. I will do this" and I do do it. I know its possible because I was there once.
As in the words of Shaun T, "The power is inside You."