first time betting on my own damn self!

Posted on June 1, 2015

Endless excuses, self sabotage, no body and mind connection. No full length mirrors, blue jeans, bikini's or budy hugging clothes.

I have spent my entire adult life overweight, obese.

The highest I have ever been is 355, and that was several years ago.

I have a major body/mind disconnect.

I know why this is, and I suppose I shouldn't ignore it anymore.

Being obese has allowed me to be lazy, invisible, and dismissive.

Lazy in the sense that at family gatherings, I am never expected to jump up and do dishes and help with all the other women doing the "women's work" of cooking, serving, and then all the clean up after the meal.

It has served me well because I've gotten to enjoy the quiet time sitting at the table by myself sipping glass after glass of Pepsi.

Invisible because in all family pictures, I insist on being the picture taker, never allowing myself to be in ANY of the photos.

Dismissive in the sense of not going to most family events, and no one missing me. I don't do Christmas, Easter dinners, and have even given up celebrating my birthday. I don't want to draw attention to myself because it embarasses me.

Overweight and miserable parents on my side, a sister who had her stomach stapled two years ago, and I think she is still miserable too.

No kids to blame this body on, and haven't really given a s*&% about myself for as long as I can remeber.

Self esteem? Never heard of it!

Self worth? Yeah, not part of my lifestyle.

I can hate and disrespect myself like no one's business tho!

Something I'm not proud of.

I've tried all kinds of diets, and failed.

Might as well try this.

Comment Now!

Julie Lama

06/03/2015 7:50AM

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/hip_hop_abs.do?view=fullsiteWork out modifications for beginners or injuries.1. Go at your own level and speed take brakes if you need to. ( if something is in the time of 8 you can do in the time of 4 or so on)2. If it hurts don't do that movement. 3. If you are very over weight go easy on yourself and your body.( you may be moving 100 more pounds than the skinny minis in the video so honour that)4. For injuries ( I have back) I personally avoid long reps on one side. I just alternate or move to the other.5. Take the bounce out. Stay lower on movements.6. Start with low or no weights.7. Ice injuries and look into modifying the movement that caused it.8.keep moving and rest when needed. But the key thing is keep moving. 9. Learn what works for you.10. Be kind and patient with yourself. I lack coordinationbut still have fun trying :)

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Julie Lama

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/hip_hop_abs.do?view=fullsite

Julie Lama

Work out modifications for beginners or injuries.1. Go at your own level and speed take brakes if you need to. ( if something is in the time of 8 you can do in the time of 4 or so on).2. If it hurts don't do that movement. 3. If you are very over weight go easy on yourself and your body.( you may be moving 100 more pounds than the skinny minis in the video so honour that).4. For injuries ( I have back) I personally avoid long reps on one side. I just alternate or move to the other.5. Take the bounce out. Stay lower on movements.6. Start with low or no weights.7. Ice injuries and look into modifying the movement that caused it.8.keep moving and rest when needed. But the key thing is keep moving. 9. Learn what works for you.10. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Julie Lama

06/03/2015 7:45AM

Kay I posted the quote on the board:) So true. I will post my work out modifications too so you can take a look Lee. I am a big fan of hip hop abs from Beachbody. That could be a great fun program to ease into. Plus the instructor Sean T is so positive and cute:)

Julie Lama

06/02/2015 8:22PM

Lee this is really written by the heart. Sounds like your ready to take that step. There has been many here that has dropped 100 pounds. Excited to see what you can do. We are here to see you through on this journey of self worth. Where you will find the power with in to make these changes. Small steps each day toward good health and celebrating your life. Find joy and change in each day. Celebrate what you can move and do and you will discover it is so much more then you realize. So glad you found us we have been making positive life changes and supporting each other here at Fitness Warriors for more than 2 years now. We will be there for you. Cheering for you all the way.

bite-me likes this comment.

bite-me

thank you Julie~

Biking Syl

06/02/2015 7:34PM

This is your starting point. It might hurt, but take the photos and record your weight, because you will be so proud later on when you can compare and see the progress!This is not all about your weight either. Keep a log of your workouts, too! How long can you walk now? How long will your walks be next week? Can you add another 5 minutes or increase your pace? That's all that counts!I track my workouts in miles. Either the real miles I walk or 1 mile per every 10 minutes or working out. I have a list where I record my daily/weekly/monthly/yearly miles. That way, I can tell if I am having a slow week or if I am on track.It was a great help too, when I got injured a while back. While getting better, I could compare myself to my old healthy self and see my progress. You can do this! You analyzed your current situation and you know what you want to change. Just keep making small changes and keep pushing, no matter what might have gone wrong yesterday. In the end, you still win, even if you make good choices only 50 percent of the time. That's still better than no good choices at all!! That is how I look at it, anyway.You can do this!! And we are all rooting for you!

bite-me likes this comment.

bite-me

thanks so much~

Kay

06/02/2015 1:59PM

I read a very good quote in one of the community groups "being over weight is hard, losing weight is hard - which hard will you choose'" (or is it chose...) follow my blog I have over 80 pounds to drop and am blogging each day - good luck!

bite-me and Julie Lama like this comment.

bite-me

thanks Kay, I have 200 to lose~

Kay

Lets do this together Lee L! I am here for you

Washingtonienne

06/02/2015 11:45AM

A long journey begins with a small step. You've taken that step now.

bite-me and Julie Lama like this comment.

bite-me

thank you so much~