Pretty early to be falling off track, but trying to get it together

Posted on July 25, 2015

Had a really rough last week or so. Pulling a LOT of overtime at work, and have been a little depressed/weak/tired the last week.

Broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5 years about a week ago. It was my decision, but I really didn't want to have to do it. He told me a 1.5 years ago that he was going back to grad school, and would be done by this fall. Instead, he hasn't taken a single class. He told me he would do all kinds of projects on the house I bought 6 months ago, instead he mows the lawn...and that's it. He told me he could open my pool, but fouled it up so badly that I had to hire somene to do it professionally. He's a great guy, but has no motivation. And then he would be pissed at me when I wanted to get room mates or work overtime to have enough money to pay my mortgage. He didn't understand because he's living at home with his parents rent free at the age of 34, in the car they gave him. A 34 year old with all the responsibility of a 16 year old. Who mows lawns at a golf course for a part time job and needs to smoke weed multiple times a day just to get by. A man who wouldn't quit smoking cigarettes with me when I was told that I had to quit for medical reasons, which made me fall off the wagon multiple times.

So I ended it, and even though it was my decision, I'm still pretty upset about it. And what do I do when I'm upset? You got it! Donuts, french fries, pizza, beer, bagels, cinnamon rolls. On top of that I've got a few medical issues causing my blood pressure to be really low the last few weeks, so I've been weak and dizzy and exhausted, like I'm going to pass out constantly. I haven't had the energy to get my dog enough exercise, so now she's having trouble behaving, and is consequently getting into things and making me even MORE nuts!

Combine the above with working 24 hours of overtime every week (total of 60+ hours a week), I have a new roommate moving in this week, and the pressure is getting pretty intense. I usually LOVE meal prep! I love picking recipes for the week, making and individually packing them in tupperware, organizing everything in the fridge, and having delicious, nutritious snacks with me

I have taken a few good hikes in the rare periods where I'm not too dizzy, and I have been eating a fair amount of fruits/veggies despite all of the above issues, so it could be worse, and the numbers on the scale seem to be maintaining within 2 pounds of previous.

2 more back to back night shifts, so it'll be hard to get my nutrition back on point without a trip to the grocery store, which I do not have the time or energy for right now. I'm also now physically craving junk foods that I had weaned myself off of and had been doing really well with. Overall I'm pretty angry at myself for not having the willpower to just say no to crap food following the breakup, but I'm determined to get back on track, clean up my home and my eating habits, and help

Let me know if anyone has tips to make the process of starting over again less daunting, or to get energy/motivation back when you're feeling crummy, both physically and emotionally.

Thanks and cheers,

Catherine

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Julie G.

07/25/2015 10:38AM

Catherine, I know how disappointing it is to fall off the wagon YET AGAIN, and have to pick yourself up YET AGAIN, but try to recognize that you are NOT starting all over again. You have all the knowledge that you've already learned. You are starting from a different place. There are some people who do not turn to food when they are emotional, but many, many people do turn to food, so try not to think of that as a personal weakness. I turn to food, but I try to stay away from the junk-y foods...instead of donuts, I might have whole grain bread with peanut butter, sliced banana and honey. Or I make homemade macaroni and cheese (total comfort food), but use whole wheat pasta. Not to say I'm perfect, lol, because beer, wine and chocolate regularly make an appearance in my grocery cart! But, I try to mostly eat foods with nutrients, so I don't feel physically crummy on top of feeling emotionally crummy. I think getting your body back to feeling good physically is the first step in feeling better. Get through the next couple of days of working as best as you can, striving for fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. Know it won't be perfect, but it's only a few days, and then you can make it a priority to get to the grocery store. You definitely made a good decision by ending the relationship (you deserve someone who motivates you to do better, and who strives to be better himself), but major changes are always a stressful, even if they are good changes.

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Catherine

Thank you for your words of encouragement! I really got it together the last day or so, managed to tackle cleaning the entire house, talked my co-workers into covering for me so I could take a quick nap at work, and I have the next 28 hours off from work, so after I get some much needed sleep, I can't wait to get back to the grocery store and then rock out to my iPod during Meal Prep Monday (even if I'm a day late) and get back on track!

Julie G.

Sometimes, it does a world of good just to vent how badly you are feeling/how badly things are going! I'm glad you are feeling back in control of things!