Summer of Struggle

Posted on August 21, 2015

I've been meaning to write this blog for a while but for some reason, I just couldn't find the time. Right now, I am making the time.

I have been struggling over the last couple of months. Basically for the entire summer. Summertime is supposed to be a breeze for weight loss, isn't it? I mean, all that time outside in the fresh air with the energy to get my workouts done and all that fresh, healthy food. Nope, not for me. I've been trying to figure out why - and I have reasons (which some may say are excuses) but here they are:

We've done a couple of weeks of vacation and while on vacation I was not overly careful with my food choices and exercise routine. I worked out, yes. I made some healthy choices, yes. But I also indulged in a few things for the sake of relaxing and enjoying myself. I don't regret this at all. But when I look back on my choices (knowing full well caloric values, etc) they don't even come close to explaining why I'm struggling.
Stress. Simple as that. Stress. I don't have typical work stress anymore. (For that, I used to burn it off at the gym.) Nope. Now I have home stress. Now, let me preface this by saying that I love my kids and wouldn't change them for the world...but...holy hell do they ever drive me nuts when they are home from school for summer break! All day long...I have always had respect for teachers, but after becoming a parent, I have a whole new level of respect for teachers! But - back to weight loss - summer break has had a huge impact on my routine and stress levels. For some reason, exercise doesn't help with my home stress. Most likely because it's the same environment - home. It's where I do everything, and I don't really get a break from it. I can leave for a while (to go for a run, for example) but I come right back and when I do, some residual stress comes right back too. I don't know how to fix this...and I don't think that I can. But - I have a feeling that once my little creatures head back to school a little bit of peace and quiet in my abode will go a long way!
Sleep. And this is the biggie. Sleep. I am an insomniac. Diagnosed but unable to diagnose the reason(s) why. Sigh. All those fixes? I've tried them. None of them work. Not. A. One. Do I sleep? Sometimes. But there is no rhyme or reason to the cycle. Since June I'm averaging 2 hours of sleep a night. Not at all helpful on the weight loss front. On the bright side...I'm due for a night of sleep REALLY soon. And, hey, maybe it'll be tonight!

So these are my reasons (excuses) and even though I know what they are and that ALL of them impact my weight loss, I'm still getting super frustrated with myself and my scale. (I realize this is insane - but it is driving me bonkers.)

And this brings me to the point where I need to thank my DietBet friends (and my real life supporters, too) - in one of my DB's, there was a #throwbackthursday theme where people were sharing their "before" and "now" photos. I was stuck in my sleep deprived frustration of the climbing scale but since others were participating, I figured that I might as well too. AND I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I DID. I might have hit a roadblock in my weight loss journey. And the time may be really sucky as I'm coming down to the last 2 months of a Transformer (and now I'm off track, trying to get back on). But I REALLY needed to see how things have changed for me over the last year and a half and that this is about LIFE and LONG TERM SUCCESS.

I've shared my photo here, for those of you that share in my journey but weren't a part of that particular DB. (And I thank you for sharing in this journey - I need all the support I can get on most days!)

I may be a slow loser. I may not hit all of my goals on time. But one thing is for sure - I do not give up when I am struggling. I will get this done. And I will be proud of myself, every step of the way. It may be the Summer of Struggle, but I predict that Awesome Autumn is on the way.

Comment Now!

Les

08/22/2015 8:28PM

You look fabulous. I remember when you had lost some weight and took your picture in that dress again. I have so much respect for your journey. How did your board work out this summer? You know I am waiting for the day when they figure something out for the insomnia a mind but - just know I am there with you everyday and getting up and moving probably helps you get 2 hours of sleep more often. It's the pits, I know!

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Jocey

Thanks, Les. The board is still there, by my treadmill, and I'm working on hitting those goals - some of them may have been delayed, but I will get them. The last month on there is October...and it isn't unreasonable to think that I could still catch up and make them happen by the end of October, instead of the middle. Miss you - hope you're taking good care of yourself!

Odette O

08/22/2015 9:58AM

Jocey. Thank you for sharing. First, I want to congratulate you on all your accomplishments. Although we are not on the same dietbet world right know, know that I share some of your struggles as well, and will not as you give up.. slowly but surely we shall win the race..!!! always cheering you and rooting for you!! giving you my "two thumbs up" always, especially when I run!!! Ciao Bella, see you in fitbit world!! Praying that you get some restful sleep.. Psalms 4:8 "I will both lie down in peace and sleep, for You alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety".

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Jocey

Thanks, Odette. The thing that I appreciate the most about DB is that others are willing to share when they have the same struggles - it really helps to know that I am not alone! I think of you often, and I'm so glad that we have the Fitbit challenges to keep pushing each other forward.

Aimes

08/21/2015 10:06AM

Jocey! Woman. I feel like you and I share so much of the same struggles. These are not excuses - these are real issues that have such a big impact on weight loss. I met with my doctor yesterday and she told me flat out my stall in weight loss is due to the fact that I'm not doing enough "restorative" things -i.e. sleep, yoga, meditation. Apparently I cringed when she said it and her remark was: "It's common for people who like to run/love to do cardio, to hate the idea of slowing down." I don't know if that hits home with you? ;-) More importantly though, how are you surviving on two hours of sleep a night?! At the risk of sounding annoying, have you tried Cortisol Balancer or Lavender Oil pills? I have been there w/the no sleep and really hope you can sleep tonight! Kudos to you for continuing to keep going - you can do this!

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Jocey

Thanks, Amy. That definitely sounds familiar! To be honest, I don't know how I manage - but I guess I do because there is no choice to it. I feel bad though, for the people around me, because I'm frequently grumpy and short tempered. And it's like I've got a constant headache. Blah. To look on the bright side...I won't need a good solid 7 hours of sleep to make me feel better, 4 would do just fine! Also, I have not tried the Cortisol Balancer - I will definitely look into it.