I've had a pretty rough last 7 days for several reasons: 1) I had to buy new clothes for work because I got to fat to wear my normal work gear (I teach so I haven't put my nice clothes on for about 3 months...shopping really sucks when you go up several sizes). 2) I am being forced to skip a 5k (Glo Run) that I was really excited about because none of my coworkers are willing to help me with my shift (also work at a brewery). 3)Been running my butt off (4 miles or so a day) but haven't see any changes - I feel great being able to run that far and for that long in one sitting, but sometimes just feeling great isn't as good of a motivator as looking better.
Add to all this that I recently discovered I have a rare disorder called Mast Cell Activation Disorder. This basically means that my cells over react for no reason at all and the reaction manifests as an extreme allergy/anaphalxis shock. I was running the other day, got about a mile and a half, sneezed a few times , then started having a reaction (hives, swollen painful throat, coughing, wheezing, and some mild swelling in my ears and lips). I feel like a bubble person, not even being able to workout like a normal person for fear of literally dying (been to the ER for this little problem before).
Add to all of this a binge eating disorder and I'm starting to feel like I'm drowning. I just need one small break, one small success to feel like not everything in the universe is out to get me. I know that this sounds very "poor me" attitude, but it's really hard to not feel that way when everytime I try to better myself, some new problem sneaks its way in and causes more trouble.
I hope the end of August brings a positive blog post.