For most of my life, I've heard certain adages that I absolutely never believed. "Baby shampoo is as gentle to the eyes as water." "Sex is better when you're in love." And, of course, "After you exercise, you'll have MORE energy than when you started." Well, up until this morning, I believed exactly NONE of these. Then I forced myself to do one of them and, dammit, it's true. (Don't get excited -- it ain't the sex one!)
Backstory: Last night was kind of a late night for me. I'm used to being up at all hours, but what killed me was that it had also been an early morning. So, having had pretty much an 18-hour day yesterday, when I woke up this morning, all I wanted to do was hit the alarm, turn over, and sleep until 3. However, when the alarm went off, I realized that I had promised to meet my personal trainer, Kendra, in a mere half an hour.
Now, Kendra is a very wonderful, kind, Zen girl, who is tender but tough at the same time. Today was the day, I decided, to play to Kendra's soft side.
The voices in my head started working overtime: "I know! I'll text her and tell her I'm stuffed up. She'll believe that! It's been about two months since I've used THAT one. No, no, no. I know! I'll tell her I have to run to Connecticut to take my mom to the doctors. No, no, no, I used that one last week when it really WAS true. I know! I'll take the high road. I'll tell her the truth. I'll tell her I'm just too tired!"
It was then that I heard the voices of 1,000 trainers, exercise physiologists, psychologists, and workout enthusiasts I'd met throughout my life from as far away as Canyon Ranch in Tucson to Massachusetts' Kripalu to my home in New York City: "Get up! Go work out! You'll have more energy after than you have now."
Not to be easily deterred, the voice in my head shifted into "Rich Bitch" mode: "I'll just tell her, 'Take the hour off, Kendra. Go get yourself a massage or spend another hour with your son. Consider this a paid hour off.'" I mean, what did I care? What's a mere $140 to a nationally known comedian who owns not one but TWO rockin' Toyota Camrys?!? (I know, Lisa, quit braggin'!)
Just as I was about to send this most benevolent -- in my humble opinion -- text, another voice came into my head. "Just try it. Try it just once and see if exercise DOES give you energy. Don't let yourself down. Don't let the folks doing DietBet down. And maybe after you do it, you'll have the energy to challenge another adage you don't believe is true."
Before another voice could drown out this more responsible and adult voice, I jumped into my gym clothes, put on my heartrate monitor, and ran downstairs, right as Kendra was walking into the building. And, damned if it wasn't true! After an hour of strength-training and running (2 miles, I might add!) I felt ready to face the day. I was no longer lazily wiping sleep out of my eyes like I would have been doing if I hadn't gone to the gym. Hell, I had enough energy throw in the wash, unload the dishwasher, Swiffer the apartment, and cruise around online for a treadmill for my home! If I hadn't gotten up and exercised, I wouldn't have even had the energy to write this super-inspiring blog to help all of you! (BTW, you're WELCOME!)
I guess the lesson here is: Challenge some things you don't believe, folks. It may be hard to accept that exercise feels good, and that sugar actually depletes us of energy, or that 64 ounces of water really DOES work wonders on our systems. But once in a while, try something and see if all those experts might possibly be right.
Well, I gotta go now. I gotta go pour some baby shampoo in my eyes. Hey, you never know . . .