I weighed out of my last two Kickstarters this morning, and won. It has been a LONG, TOUGH, RELENTLESS weight loss effort for me over the last 10 months. I have lost 56 pounds, and worked hard for every ounce of it. 13 Dietbets later, and not one lost.
So here's the rest of the story....This afternoon on the way home, all I could think of was going completely wild with food. It was like a fantasy....I was thinking..."I could go to the Italian place and get lasagna, or the subshop and get a cheesesteak....and yea, a cupcake, that would be good, or some ice cream, or maybe MacDonald's..." I mean, I was going to just face-plant in carbs, fat and sugar, and feel like I deserved it. For one lucid moment though, I decided to go to the grocery store. I looked around, mentally tasting everything. I actually pushed my cart through every aisle of the bakery, and thought hard about the desserts. Every one of them. Somehow, they had lost their appeal. The junk no longer looked good.
Then I went to the deli, splurged on some white meat chicken salad. Bought a people magazine and drove home. Relief? Pride? Not sure. All I know is that I didn't blow my hard work. I know now that my decision making is better than it has been in years and I think that that small moment may have been one of the more striking non-scale victories that I experienced in this whole journey.
The change is internal.
Now I know it's mine.