I'm sucking it up. On June 4th of this year I got brave and got on the scale. 310lbs. I'd like to say I was shocked but I wasn't. I was miserable. I found myself wondering how people got bigger than 310lbs (no ill intent towards those who are... ) because my body was physically shutting down. I couldn't walk from one side of my tiny house to the other without feeling winded and I was wearing the biggest sized clothes that you could buy in a normal fat girl store. Normal meaning... NOT the Roman's catalog or Tents-n-More. So I made a decision, I could stuff my face and miserable or I could be on a diet and be miserable. I know, that's not what you want to hear, you wanna hear that it's easy once you get into it and that I'm eating so much good healthy food that I don't even miss brownies.
Bullcrap.
I miss brownies every stinkin' minute of every day. Fiber1 brownies can die in a fire. They makes you so gassy and the ensuing bathroom trip is horrifying. No thank you.
So yes, I'm on a diet. I like keeping it real. All the feel good "it's not a diet... it's a lifestyle change" and "don't say the D word... it has negative connotations" is dumb. Google say the definition of diet is: a special course of food to which one restricts oneself, either to lose weight or for medical reasons.
Well... isn't that what I'm doing? If I'm not restricting myself... I'm going all hog heaven on brownies . I'm predisposed to being fat. I come from a fat family. I'm not saying it's not my fault I'm fat, I'm just saying that it's easier for me to put on weight than some other folks. This means I will be on a "diet" for the rest of my life and having hit the place that I was on June 4th? I'm ok with that because the alternative is being dead.
So here I am on August 21st doing my first diet bet. I'm about 40lbs down and on a fast train to 50lbs. My initial goal is 100lbs though I'd like to lose 140 (long run). They're building a "Planet Fitness" in my 'hood and I joined. Now I'm just waiting for it to open! I feel so much better. I've dropped 2 pants sizes and gone from a size 52 bra to a 46. Yep... 46 is still huge but I'm getting there.
I haven't weighed less than my husband for 15 years. I CANNOT wait for that day when I can say that again. It really has nothing to do with how much he weighs... I just wanna be the smaller one.
Just keepin' it real again. ha ha.
I weighed in officially on Aug. 18th for this bet and then had a couple of really bad days. My baby turned 18 and my other baby got his learners permit to drive. I didn't anticipate how devistated I would be and it blindsided me. I put on a few pounds in those two days. So... Two steps forward... 3 steps back right? No more steps BACK... gotta keep plugging along.
Lastly... I'm kinda counting on you people not doing that great on this bet. LOL Go... eat cake... eat brownies... eat Doritos. <----- trashtalk.