DAY 290: Sweet dreams

Posted on January 7, 2016

My subconscious is hilarious. Between the competitive baking shows I'm now hooked on watching and the absence of sugary deliciousness in my life since leaving my family after Christmas "break," I am constantly dreaming of desserts! I wake up in the morning half-convinced that it was all true, and I really spent the past several hours pigging out on brownies, cupcakes, cookies, cakes, pies, fudge, ice cream, and solid blocks of chocolate.

I've had this type of strange dreaming happen before: when I very first started losing, and over the summer when it started getting tiresome. I'm not worried about it, I'm purely amused. It's like my inner child is screaming for goodies and the only way it can have them is in my nocturnal imagination. OK, inner child! Enjoy the fake calories!

One of the key things I've embraced from the start is not to practice absolute, categorical denial of anything. I have sound reasons beyond the obvious "I don't wanna," and they're my big 3:

It's unrealistic. Eliminating entire swaths of food from your diet may yield drastic losses in the beginning, but it's not sustainable in the long term. Once you inevitably reintroduce your no-no food group, there's a much higher likelihood that you will over-indulge like a fiend, and you'll end up right back where you started. Furthermore, are you really going to go through the rest of your life without ever having another slice of birthday cake, glass of champagne, or piece of candy? No, you're not, and you don't want to. Admit it now and you can work around it.
It's unhealthy. The secret to all of this is balance. If you cut out a whole brick of the food pyramid, you'll have to figure out how to consume the good nutrients that were in that brick from somewhere else. That's math you're not going to want to do. Just eat less of the less-good stuff and you'll be fine.
It's avoiding the real problem. If you're an over-eater, losing weight is extra challenging, and that's because you don't know how to eat just enough. Without mastering moderation and portion control, you're not going to truly change the bad habits that landed you in Fat Land in the first place. You have to invest the time in training yourself to learn this new way of nourishing yourself. Swearing off certain foods is not the way to do that.

***Of course, there are exceptions to this: foods with no nutritional value, or that are chemical based rather than nutrient based, like pop. I fully gave that shit up ages ago. Everyone should!

In summary, the best approach -- inherent difficulty notwithstanding! -- is to keep everything in your diet, but learn how to control it. It's absolutely easier said than done, but it's the only way. Staying away from some foods entirely will only make your cravings for those foods harder and harder to resist until you eventually cave massively and end up hating yourself for the binge you go on. It's the oldest cliché in the weight-loss book, but it is a lifestyle change, and that means... CHANGING YOUR LIFESTYLE.

Meal planning and preparation solved almost all of that problem for me, and it's why I can feel comfortable having a pint of Häagen-Dazs in my freezer right now. I bought it two days ago and had actually forgotten it was there until I opened my freezer door this morning while putting my lunch together and saw it. At this time last year, it would have been impossible for both of us to be in the same living quarters without me either constantly thinking about it or devouring the whole tub in one sitting. This pint is for a special occasion, though, making it a low-risk temptation. (Full disclosure: There are 2 pints in there, but the second one will be for a later date when I feel like it's appropriate.)

Conventional wisdom in weight loss is that you're not supposed to reward yourself or celebrate milestones with food. That makes perfect sense to me and I have adhered to it like a champ. However, I'm making an exception for a few notable events coming up the week of January 17th:

The 17th is day 300 of my mission. That's a BFD, and it deserves recognition.
The 17th and 18th are also weigh-out dates for two of my DietBets that I have rather big numbers to pull in order to hit, but the fact that I was able to make it even a possibility that I could win after falling back around the holidays is reason enough to celebrate for me.
The 19th, I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor. The last time I saw her was in mid-July, when she told me she bet she wouldn't even recognize me the next time she saw me. I had someone who recently came back to work from maternity leave actually not recognize me when we saw each other yesterday for the first time in 4 months, so I'm hoping my doctor's prediction will be true. And that will be after SIX months without seeing each other!
I'm closing in on losing 100 pounds, and if I keep up the pace, it'll happen in time for that week.

So, yes. Chocolate-peanut butter ice cream is in order that week.

I'm crazy enough to be looking forward to more sweet dreams tonight!

Comment Now!

Beckys-Getting-Fit

01/08/2016 8:50AM

Wow love reading all this. I have pondered this stuff for a long time too. I think you are absolutely correct that if you were to say anything is off limits, it would be unsustainable and you want this to be a lifestyle not a temporary diet. I have always loved baking and cooking. I can't imagine a more rewarding creative outlet. You get to create beautiful, aromatic, and delicious treats for yourself and others. What other creative outlets are that rewarding on so many levels? So I love cooking shows too but I found I am so suggestible that I was jumping up and heading to the kitchen every commercial absolutely craving whatever they had just cooked on the show. So I kinda had to cut them out of my watching rotation. It helps my diet if I don't expose myself to those tempting shows. My one exception is I can watch one while I'm eating my dinner. Helps me eat slower too because I want to see the whole show! And I won't jump up and head to the kitchen because I'm already eating my planned /prepped meal. I also found that when I'm in the zone and doing well with my diet, planning and prepping meals, I can have treats in the house and not eat them or obsess on them until they show up in my planned meal. The only danger is if they are in the house when I have fallen off the wagon--which happens to me!!!-- Then I will eat the whole container! Thanks for posting! Ideas from your journey help others too and you are doing AWSOME!!!

Natalie M.

01/07/2016 6:01PM

Author Gretchen Rubin argues that there are two types of people, moderators - who do better allowing small amounts of treats in moderation, and abstainers - who actually find like easier if they just say "I don't eat chips" (or whatever). She is an abstainer and says it is so much more relaxing for her because the decision is made, she doesn't have to keep deciding "will I or won't I, and how much?" every occasion. I think I can understand that point of view, but as a "moderator", by her definition, I go into a panic spiral if I think about never having chocolate again and binge. And some other extremely overweight bloggers I read say they were addicted to sugar and have found life much easier when they completely abstain, if they have a bit it triggers them to eat more. I guess what I am saying is that while I personally live in line with what you say here, I don't think there is one rule for everyone in the world. Some people are different, and do better with different life rules even though that may be incomprehensible to us.

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Pirwaki

Hi, Natalie! Of course people are different and will have varying degrees of success with different approaches and methods. Things like your example of chips, you can live without forever because it's actually not food and it has no nutritional value. Things like bread, you can't really entirely eliminate because it IS food and it DOES have nutritional value. That was the point I was trying to make with my example of soda, which I personally have 100% abstained from for several years: it's like chips, no dietary benefits. You can eliminate refined sugars to an extent, like never eating M&Ms again, but you can't completely avoid them in every food forever unless you eat only whole foods and prepare everything yourself, always. That's all I meant to say. In any case, I'm no expert and I am only recommending what has been successful for me. :) Thanks for your insight!

Beckys-Getting-Fit

Hi Natalie, this is very interesting! I have noticed this is true for me with forming good habits. I finally have gotten into this groove of waking up every morning and exercising and eating my planned breakfast. I know I have formed this habit when I no longer think *should* I exercise this morning or do I have an excuse to skip it? or What should I eat for breakfast? It IS so RELAXING to not have these stressful angel/devil on each shoulder internal debates every morning when I just woke up! I just do it. It helps that I've been sleeping in sweats and sports bra and t-shirt and my breakfast is prepped in the fridge! I am ready to go in the AM and don't even think about it. It has worked for me for a few months now. Its a habit! fingers crossed it sticks!

Jocey

01/07/2016 11:37AM

Yay for moderation! I completely agree...and in an aside, I just had a conversation with my sister about how I'd like to gather up all the people that preach "no sugar ever" and put them in a room with sugar. Haha - I'm mean like that. I understand that everyone is different, and our triggers are different...so, in reality, not everyone is on their way to death for eating a cookie or a piece of cake. And I find the truth in the numbers regarding people that tend to eliminate DO end up gaining significant amounts of weight back. Life is about moderation - in all aspects, not just food.

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Pirwaki

I was nodding the entire time I was reading your comment. Agreed on all counts (even the mean one)!

Ada G.

01/07/2016 9:25AM

I don't know what you do for a living right now, but you may want to consider becoming a motivational speaker or a life coach. You are so wise!!!! And right on in so many ways. So many of my diabetic friends "say" they don't eat carbs, or at least try to get to a 0 level daily. What ever! Sugar substitutes can do more damage than the actual sugar. And like you said, I am going to eat cake and ice cream and french bread and ... everything else under the sun, just in moderation (thank GOD for my food scale!!!), and when I know I will be able to do small portions with my trigger foods.

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Pirwaki

Hahahaha, thanks! Mostly, I'm just bossy with a lot of opinions, but at least those opinions are fact-based. ;-) You're SO right about the artificial sugars! People with their diet Pepsis are doing so much worse than with regular Pepsis, and it's hard to make Pepsi worse than it already is! Anyway, yes, moderation forever!