Birthday Blunders

Posted on February 14, 2016

*Warning: This is a random rant of things that have bothering me. This may or may not make any sense what so ever. Is this what happens as you approach 40?*

Friday was my birthday. While I can't go back in time and reverse the age clock to make me younger, I can attempt to embrace it.

Most people give themselves a birthday week or month. I gave myself an unplanned weekend. Meaning:what was suppose to be one day of cheat meals, actually turned in to the entire freaking weekend.

I know people say not to beat yourself up and that tomorrow is a new day, but what about those of us that are addicted to food? What about those of us that sit and unintentionally eat an entire box of <insert trigger food here>?

I have worked so hard since January 1 on trying to cut out processed crap and eating more organic or whole foods. I have been really diligent in cutting out my post workout meal of a hamburger and fries on my way home from the gym. I have cut out my daily trips to QT for a breakfast sandwich or taquito. I even have given up my beloved hot dog and chips addiction. All this hard work wrecked because I decided to ask for a fruit torte instead of cake? Did I mention the torte had a sugar glaze on the fruit and smothered in cream cheese goodness? How the hell is that healthy?

I slowly feel myself gravitating back towards the sugary goodness that I have worked so hard to take control of. I see chocolate and want to devour the entire box. But what good does that do? I would feel sorry about myself, but that wouldn't stop me. I would self destruct and get to where I have so desperately been trying to get away from.

It isn't just about the sugar. I indulged in pasta and dairy. Two things that I have not had since December. As I write this, I am on the biggest sugar high and I hate how I feel. Why do we self sabotage? Why do we beat ourselves up? Why can we not just say no?

But things aren't all that bad. I have lost 15 pounds since I have switched my eating habits. There are times that it is super difficult (like after I leave the gym) but do enjoy being able to come home and make me a somewhat healthy dinner and not feel bad about stopping at <insert fast food restaurant> here and indulging in a jumbo super value meal with large goodness and a side of oh my gosh I had myself and then wonder why you haven't lost a single pound.

I actually kind of feel better now that I have gotten this off my chest. Thank you for allowing me to do so! Enjoy the rest of your weekend (well those of you that are off for Presidents Day you still have an extra day).

Do any of you guys struggle with these same issues? How do you deal with them?

Until next time......

Comment Now!

LillyLion

02/15/2016 6:56AM

Happy birthday! I am sorry your birthday weekend turned into a bit of self-abuse. Being honest about how you feel is really important. And who the heck am I to "talk you into" another way of "feeling?" Feel it. Own it. You have done that, chica-lica. Like Marcie said, getting it off your chest is important. If this helps, I have found ways to satisfy my own sugary cravings. They work for me, but not sure if they will for you? When craving dessert, I will take fresh fruit (raspberries and strawberries are my drug of choice) and sprinkle them with Xyla/Truvia/honey. Sometimes I admittedly overdo the Truvia, but it satisfies the sugar craving. Another thing that works for me, but this might violate your "processed crap" rule (and I understand that, totally). I keep sugar-free hot chocolate at the ready. A serving has 20 calories and it really satisfies me. Plus, in this blustery weather, I really need a warm-up! Good luck. I agree with Marcie in celebrating your victories, thus-far. You can do this. This.is.your.year.baby!

kaligurl likes this comment.

kaligurl

I eat fruit like it is going out of style. I might be able to find a compliant hot chocolate. I do love me some hot tea!

JayP

02/15/2016 6:53AM

You're not alone. I basically did that last week with no birthday or any other event as an excuse! Falling back into those bad habits can be tough to break completely. Right now I'm giving myself permission to be better at it but not "perfect," because every time I shoot for "perfection" in that way I seem to let myself down. So focus on your good changes and work on lessening the other habits so they don't keep you too far from your goals. But don't beat yourself up over it, really. It doesn't help. I think of it as my alcoholism or drug addiction - would I beat myself up for being an addict? No, I hope not anyway, I would recognize I have a problem and that I need to keep working on it so it doesn't mess up my life. Just know it is your struggle to deal with and do the best you can. 15 pounds lost and the habit changes you described are definitely accomplishments, no matter what else happens over a weekend.

kaligurl likes this comment.

kaligurl

Thanks for the encouragement! I do tend to beat myself up if I am not "perfect". I might need to work on the more.

Marcie

02/15/2016 5:35AM

Happy Birthday kaligurl! I am glad you got this off your chest as well! Let's look at all you have accomplished - you have lost 15 pounds (YAY!!!!), you have changed a lot of bad habits (YAY!!!!) AND you recognize that indulging in a lot of sugar and junk food is something that is not good for you and that you don't want to do (YAY!!!!). You did not undo all that good work you have done since January 1! You have made great progress. Yes, you fed the sugar monster and as you noted, it is an addiction that once you start to feed it, it wants more. So you aren't crazy or out of control and bad, you are dealing with and BREAKING an addiction. A birthday can be a HUGE trigger - so since you already know that you shouldn't feel guilty, look back, etc. I am going to ask you "what did you learn from this and what can you do differently next time?" Because that is what you need to figure out for yourself. There will be more challenges/triggers to deal with and you will keep getting better at dealing with them - eventually honestly if you keep at it, your palette WILL change, your cravings will subside and you will begin to crave different kinds of foods (mine is often raw cashews). Syl's suggestions of learning substitutions that you like is KEY! The first year I was focused on my weight loss, my birthday hit at the 6 month mark and I planned it in advance. I had a bunch of family coming over and I KNEW someone would insist on a cake. So I planned a healthy cake and I didn't tell anyo

kaligurl and LillyLion like this comment.

kaligurl

I really thought I was doing right when I told my mom to get a fruit cake. Not the fruitcake you get at Christmas. Then she comes back with this torte. I was like what?

Biking Syl

02/14/2016 6:02PM

Hi there, great job changing all your eating habits and losing that weight! I really don't have an answer for a long-term fix, other than working on habits, as you already did. When you fall off the wagon, never look back and get right back on, that's how it's done. In terms of trigger foods, I have come up with the following rules: NO CRAP IN THE HOUSE. If I want a treat, I have to go and buy a single candy, NOT a full package. But in order to fight the cravings, I found that it helps to have 'legal snacks' available at all times. Something that doesn't cause sugar highs/sugar crashes. My favorites: unsalted mixed nuts (because I can always keep an emergency pack with me), any kind of fruit or veggie to snack on. Yes, they have calories. But over time, you will eat less and less of them, because the sugar crashes and sugar cravings are avoided. Cravings also come from missing nutrients, so I noticed that my cravings go way down when I drink huge banana/spinach/berry/nut/date smoothies daily. Try it, they are awesome! Best of luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

kaligurl, LillyLion and Marcie like this comment.

kaligurl

Smoothies have helped me a lot! The struggle is that I have roommates and they have their crap, but they are supportive, so it is a start.

Biking Syl

Wow, that's tough, but at least they don't push food on you. Maybe you can ask them to hide the worst food?

Braven

02/14/2016 2:40PM

Just wanted to wish you good luck. A weekend of disappointments doesn't have to define tomorrow. Just make a resolution to reset now that you've got it out of your system. I struggle with loving and craving all of that bad stuff too. I love fried foods and carbs. But I'm the kind of person that has to go all or nothing. It's so easy to get thrown off track. Good luck and happy birthday!

kaligurl, LillyLion, Marcie and Biking Syl like this comment.

kaligurl

Thanks! I jumped back on the wagon Monday. Can't wallow in self pity forever!