Lose weight the fun way.

Posted on March 4, 2016

My family is stressing me out. I am mad, disappointed, sad, relieved, and happy all at the same time, but at varying levels and with different people. I put a lot of pressure on myself as I'm labeled the "calm" and "responsible" one in the family. I just hate when that means I have to mediate crap or figure out solutions when other people aren't pulling their weight. I am trying to remind myself that I am grateful for the opportunity to even have these issues with these people becase life is short and some families aren't even close enough to interact in this way.

Still, my first thought is that I need to eat something, preferably something sugary. That's my go-to when I"m feeling upset in any way. My husband used to buy me an ice cream cone when I was cranky to put me in a better mood. It's sad that as far as I get in this process, the craving is so strong. I want to feel better and I know that it'll give me some instant gratification to give in, but I want to remind myself that in the long run I'll only feel worse.

I knew today would be rough and tried to plan for it as much as I could. I did yoga this morning. I ate a healthy breakfast. I forgot my water bottle, but I sucked it up and spent extra to buy a big bottle of water. I was proud of myself for making a healthy choice for lunch of fish and steamed broccoli with sweet potatoes, when what I really wanted was a burger with fries. Still, all this planning doesn't really make the stress NOT happen. It's still there.

So, here I am. Venting to the DB world about the stress and how difficult it is to turn my back to the sweets/desserts that I want so badly. There's a lot worse going on in the world than my problems and I'm trying to look at the bigger picture, but it's overwhelming sometimes. It's hard learning to cope with things without turning to food. In some ways, I feel more fragile and sensitive now that the food doesn't dull the feelings. I have no answers right now, but just typing this has already helped me to feel a little better.

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Craig

03/06/2016 10:44AM

Like Brenda said, the stress will always be there in one form or another. It's how we deal with it that makes the difference. Growth never comes during the easy times, it's when we are faced with hard times that builds our character. One of my favorite sayings is Failure doesn't mean game over, it means try again with experience, and you are doing that. We are here for you to vent because we have all been there before.

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Sally B

03/05/2016 9:22AM

You were strong, made good food choices and didn't let the stress sabotage you and your goals. Kudos!!!!! You took control of something that you have control over, what you eat. Yay you!!!!!! Food has always been my comfort, especially the sugary stuff, in stressful times, so I relate. I am learning to find other comforts other than food. I always regret succumbing to stress eating because then I've let my circumstances and other people steal my joy. Exercise, cleaning (go figure), and talking to a buddy who gets me have been my most recent choices instead of food. Type away....you're a good writer.

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LilyN

Thanks Sally, writing this really helped. I did not give in to my cravings and I am proud of that. Writing out my feelings made me feel more compassionate about the situation and my family. I'm giving myself permission to take time away from my family without feeling guilty. I need to remind myself that I do not have to be available all the time. Some ME time is important and makes me a better person.

Brenda

03/04/2016 7:58PM

The stress will always be there. It will never NOT be there. I have heard people in other recovery programs get angry or feel really ripped off when they get straight, and the world is not automatically better. Same here. Guess we are thinking that once we solved this problem, everything else will be solved. You made some really amazing choices today. You fought really hard. All we can do is keep fighting the battle. The world is definitely going to keep giving us the challenges. It's all how we react and stand strong against them those challenges. Good for you Lily.

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LilyN

Thank you! It was a struggle, but coming here helped immensely. I think I'm definitely in that boat of believing subconsciously that things will be better as I lose weight without really thinking through why that would be. Things are different, but weight loss isn't magic. I'm just glad for DB as a venue for me to vent.

Ada G.

03/04/2016 6:52PM

"In some ways, I feel more fragile and sensitive now that the food doesn't dull the feelings." You hit the nail on the head. And sometimes I don't feel I have the strength to be strong mentally and physically. I can do one or the other, just not at the same time! Remember, the Dietbet community is always here for you - vent as much as you need. Hang tough, tomorrow is a new day.

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LilyN

Thank you Ada, I definitely needed to vent. And really, it was like I let out a lot of steam and was able to look at the situation more rationally and with greater compassion. It helped me to stop my overwhelmingly negative thoughts and take a step back.