I contemplated sharing this publicly with everyone, but figured that sharing my struggles could possibly show someone else that they're not alone in this attempt to reach a healthier lifestyle & be the best they can be. So, I have quickly tried to sum up the last 15 years or so of my life in about 5 paragraphs! I touched important notes, and left a lot out so I don't make anyone reading it to the end suffer through my narration of life... You see, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my body and self-esteem due to appearance & weight. I have never been overly obese, but I have a very "athletic" build as some might call it. I have always been in sports that have required me to be a little bulkier than most petite 5 foot 1 inch tall women.
In high school, I ate what I want, when I wanted and it didn't matter because I was working out between games or practices, at least 3 hours a day. In college, I maintained fairly well because I was an athlete and we had 2 a day practices, or games and were always on the go, so I didn't have time to worry much about food. But, I got pregnant with my son, never lost that "baby weight" after reaching 180+ lbs., and eventually the weight gain from my normal eating habits hit me, and hit me hard. Being 150+ on a 5'1 frame was not a healthy way to live. I was also going through other major personal changes in my life which led me to eat as a stress relief.
I remember the time that changed everything for me. I have a close group of 11 friends and we were inseparable through high school. Some of us were even friends before then. The first one of us was getting married, and we packed into a limo for her bachelorette party. My very first ever! It was so exciting and fun... until the pics came back. I looked horrible. All of my friends still looked the same as they did in high school 3 years before. And I had blown up to be almost unrecognizable. I cried for days looking at the pics, and made sure that everyone I got tagged in on Facebook was removed quicker than it was put up. I said NO MORE. If not for myself, for my son who needed me. I needed to keep up with him, run around with him, and be able to be there for him. I was a single mom who needed to get her ass in shape.
I learned how to cook healthy meals. I quit eating out as often and I started running. My goal was to be able to finish a 5K by the end of summer in less than 30 minutes. I also started doing yoga to control stress and to feel better. Eventually, after about 3 months of running/walking at least 3 miles, 5x a week, the weight was coming off. I was able to get down to 135 and stay around there. I finished my 5k, around 30 minutes but not under. But, I hit a plateau, and got comfortable with it.
FAST FWD A FEW YEARS & MORE...
I got lazy & bored with working out. My life turned to being more social focused than health driven. I yo-yo dieted on and off, gained weight and lost it, gained weight and lost it, yadda yadda. Tried every weight loss "gimmick" that I could, including a 500 calorie diet with a side of "drops" to help lose weight. DUH, anyone who only consumes 500 calories a day will lose weight easily, because my body was basically decomposing. At one time I was even practicing veganism after reading a book about processed food and other nasty crap we put into our bodies. But, a greasy cheeseburger from Steak N Shake broke that after a few months. I finally finished my college degree that I put off for too long, bought a house, found the one and got engaged. Stress levels were to the extreme with wedding planning. I worked my ass off for a few months to fit into a wedding dress that was a little too snug when I bought it. But when the wedding and honeymoon were over, I went back to "eh, I'll eat that and work it off later", later rolled around and "eh, I'm too tired to workout tonight, I'll do it tomorrow". Which tomorrow turned into, "fuck it, I've already cheated & didn't workout, keep the bad streak going".
And now I'm here. Summer has basically flown by. I don't think I've put on a bathing suit since the honeymoon because I don't feel comfortable enough. We've focused a lot on getting the house back in order after hoarding all of our wedding decorations and memorabilia for months. But, not we're both letting ourselves get too comfortable and not focusing enough on our health. I am hoping that DietBet will be the thing we need to keep us motivated and accountable. I'm tired of spending $ on fads that pass, or "business opportunities" through social media networking. Yeah, I fell into that trap buying into Advocare, which did work, but left us with a huge credit card debt because the product that was supposed to change our lives, did not. It did help jump start some motivation for our original weight loss, but it wasn't making anyone else jump to try it. I am hoping that DietBet will be just the push we need. I just have to remind myself from time to time... just keep swimming...just keep swimming.