I'd always been on the full-figured end of slim, with a typical hourglass figure and some extra fluff around the edges to keep me comfy. I'd never been overweight or what one would consider particularly out of shape. I'd done yoga for almost 10 years, hiked my whole life, and been an on-again, off-again lifter and "runner" (if by "running", one means plodding along doing 15-minute miles). I'm a vegetarian but I could more or less eat whatever I wanted and not suffer any real longterm consequences. No calorie counting or macro tracking for me! No gym schedule, no gym membership even!
But something happened when I turned 27. All of a sudden I had handfuls of stuff to grab on my sides. I had rolls when I sat down. Cellulite reared its head. Everything shook when I took a step.
And most people are probably saying, "Um, please shut it, this is the most first-world problem I have ever heard." They're not wrong. I myself didn't even take it seriously for months, just saying to myself, "Psh, whatever. Body positivity! I've got more to squeeze now! Everyone has cellulite and stomach rolls. I don't have to be perfect to have a beautiful body!"
And all of those things are without a doubt true. I haven't stopped thinking I'm beautiful because my arms wave a little when I move them or because my butt has dropped an inch or two. What really bothers me isn't how I look. It's how I feel.
Walking up even the slightest incline is like torture. I'm left gasping for breath at the top, sweating my ass off, and then I realize I've walked a mere 50 feet. My arms and legs shake when I do yoga, something that's never happened before. I can't jog, let alone run, without wanting to collapse. I feel weak. I feel embarrassed that I've let it get this bad, to the point where my little squat, short-legged, barrel-chested pitbull can run circles around me while I trudge behind. Where my 60 year-old mom has stronger calves than I do. Where I watch people old enough to be my grandparents run marathons while I watch. It's just time to change.
This is possibly the whiniest thing in recent memory that I've written. The truth of the matter is, some people in this game have 100 pounds to lose and I have 6. I want to roll my eyes at myself. This is no life or death situation, but this is a great life vs. mediocre life situation. I can keep on being inactive, fatigued, and uncomfortable. Or I can use this game as a kickstarter for getting my life back.
Getting older can be a bitch but I'm not going to let it win. I'm going to take back my body and my health and hopefully at the end of this I'll be stronger, healthier, and happier.