Now this post may not be of any interest to anyone out there, but it is for me :)

Growing up I had two brothers who would happily remind me that I was a bit 'pudgier' than the rest. They weren't horrible, they were just little boys and I have no bad feelings towards them whatsoever, they are good people.

I remember feeling insecure about my weight from an early age but it wasn't until the 8th grade that I really started changing my body. The summer between grade 8 and 9, I remember being very strict with myself and really concentrating on losing weight. Looking back now I know that I didn't really have that much weight to lose, but I just wanted to fit in with all of my beautiful friends. I didn't do it the healthy way.

When I returned to school in grade 9 I had girls and guys tell me that I had become 'more beautiful' over the summer and that I was starting to become 'hot'. I know that these words were just meant to be nice comments, but to me they meant that I had to be this skinny minnie in order to be beautiful- and I think at 13 years old (I was a year ahead), that was the wrong message to receive.

  • 2006: At this time of my life I weighed 59kg or 130lbs. Which gave me a BMI of 22.2- very healthy.

Then I grew taller and, naturally, put on weight. I didn't eat much, but what I was eating was probably not the best, nutritionally, for me. No breakfast, a bagel for lunch and then whatever was for dinner at home (so not awful).

Summer of grade 10- I went to Tanzania with a group of girls and remember comparing what I was eating to what they were eating, every single mouthful. 

  • 2007: I was 10cm taller and 63kg or 139lbs. Which gave me a BMI of 21- still very healthy.

Grade 11- I remember feeling very out of place, I would wear hoodies to hide myself and avoid situations where I had to get into a swimsuit etc. But, looking back at these photos- I was in great shape! I was beautiful and I was... hot. At the end of grade 11 I was 66kg.

Summer of grade 11- I went to the gym everyday for 2 months. 

  • 2008: After gyming for 2 months I went from 66kg back down to the 63 I was the year before.

Grade 12- I started off and I looked amazing, everyone commented on it. I got attention from everyone, but at the time I couldn't see it. I still saw myself as that girl who was overweight.

  • 2009: The year I graduated! I finished the year at 66kg, putting 3kg on during the year. Which gave me a BMI of 22.1. I was very healthy and happy when the year ended.

Then I went to university, and it all went down hill.

End of year 1 (2010): 70kg.

End of year 2 (2011): 76kg.

End of year 3 (2012): 79kg.

  • The summer of this year I kicked my butt in to gear and went to the gym for two months- I managed to get down to 69kg. I was the HAPPIEST and HEALTHIEST I have ever been. I did it all super healthily and I couldn't have been prouder.

End of year 4 (2013): 81kg.

End of year 5 (2014: 84kg.

And that brings us to where we are now. I am about start my 6th year of university and I am officially starting it at 80kg. By the end of this year I want to be 63kg. That is a MASSIVE feat. My BMI would then be 21.0.

I am going to do this the healthy way, no other way. It will take time, but I am prepared for that. I finish university at the end of this year and I go into the real world. I want to go into it in the best shape possible!