Respecting Myself

Posted on October 22, 2017

I can't say how many times I have decided to lose weight and get fit over my lifetime. It is so discouraging. Last year I was doing really well, the best I have done in years! I bought s treadmill from Kijiji along with a recumbent exercise bike and I worked out religiously for 35 minutes a day on them. I also went for walks down the path to the lake with my boys a few times a week and I really tried to walk everywhere at a quick pace.

I changed all of my menus and exchanged my big plate for a smaller one. I bought a special divided plate that is meant to show how much one should eat to be my targeted 155 pounds. I did well. I was eating more greens than sweets and lost 27 pounds in 4.5 months. Now some may think that was slow, and even I thought it was. I wish I could have lost more like 40 pounds in that time since I have 80 to go(70 then though).

But then I got a car. I also got back with my boyfriend after a 9 months split and we moved into a nice townhouse. I stopped walking to the store and bus stops. I pretty much bunkered down for winter and we indulged in snacks while we snuggled and watched movies throughout the season.

The spring came and I stood on the scale mortified! I cried and pouted and threw my new skinny clothes into the back of the closet where they will remain until I can fit into them again....

I had put back on my 27 pounds and then 10 more.

I know, I know...so many of us can relate.

I was torn up with so many different emotions. I was mad at myself, I was mad at my boyfriend, I was ashamed that I could let food win again and take away my power. I don't know why food is my crack. I don't know why I can never seem to maintain or go the distance.

I am tired. I am sick. I am sick and tired of discrespecting myself and my body. I need to find a way to take back my power. I hope by joining this new community here at DietBet that I can find the support I need. I want to be amongst those who will understand my struggles and help me to forgive myself and not torment myself with self sabotaging behaviors when I feel discouraged or disappointed. I need people to tell me it's ok to be human. It's ok to not have to be in control all of the time and not feel bad when I am not in control.

I need strong people to lean on. Ones who will motivate me to keep going. Tell me it's ok to fall off the horse as long as I just get back on. To remind me that you only truly fail when you give up completely and pack it all in. Life is a journey. Life is supposed to be full of learning and adventures. There will be ups and downs. The key is to find some other way to move on when times are tough and not head for that refrigerator or supermarket candy aisle.

So, I signed up for a membership at the YMCA last month. I just finished my 4 week there. I have been going every day Monday to Friday. I swim and work out on the bike and eliptical machines and just started weight training 2 weeks ago which I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I am looking forward to going to the Y every day now.

And today I found myself here, on this site Diet Bet.

So I say Hello. Won't you please be my friend?

Comment Now!

Cynthia B.

10/24/2017 10:30AM

Wow I could have been the writer of this about a year ago! I tell you know I found intermittent fasting along with a low carb diet and it changed my world! That is not the point I was getting at because everyone is different, so what works for one may not for another(although it is something I suggest looking into for anyone) but the real point is that I did not give up, after decades of searching, I finally found something that worked for me and am now 3 pounds from my ultimate goal...I actually past my original personal goal and then made up my ultimate goal which will allow me a 5 pound window for gaining and losing to play with. Always Forgive your indiscretions and Never Give Up!!! Your goal is just around the bend...you just find what finally works for you and do not allow anything to deter you from it. Just keep on keeping on!! You got this!!! Best wishes babe!

Melanie B.

Thanks so much for the support and encouragement. Yes, I was actually thinking of mixing things up a little. I like the WEight Watchers approach but also like the Intermitent Fasting so I may try the two of them together if they will blend. Am also wondering if once in a while I should throw the Military diet in there too. The one with 3 days under 1200 calories and 4 days at around 1500. I would like to see how it goes. In the meantime, I am making healthy changes every day. Yesterday I swapped out cake and icing for pudding and low fat whipped topping.

Kelly D.

10/23/2017 5:16PM

“I know, I know...so many of us can relate.” Yes, I certainly can! I don’t have the answers. I wouldn’t be here myself if I did. But, if you want someone to tell you that it’s okay to be human, I’ll be glad to do that. And I’ll also tell you to be kind to yourself and keep trying. It’s all any of us can do. : )

Melanie B. likes this comment.