I was organizing some papers today and i ran across an old workout/weightloss journal which really made me think. In 2009 i went from 214lbs down to 135 by dedication, determinataion and a little help from hydroxycut with ephedra. I often say to myself and others that the only reason i lost so much weight was because i had hydroxycut and it helped me control my appetite. Now that may be true but i was on the one that held myself accountable and made myself workout every single day! No matter how many hours i put in at work i still did my workout every single day and I always felt great at night. I went through the journal and it upset me, after I had my 3rd son I attempted to start tracking but after a week here, a week there I would throw in the towel and call it a failed attempt because I didn't have hydroxcut.
I am seeing at this very moment that i never gave myself the credit i deserved. I never patted myself on the back and said you did it, you lost it, you proved you can do whatever you put your mind to! I can lose weight without the help of a "drug" I know I have an inner drive that wants to prove to myself that I can do it again. I want to look in the mirror and see that i truely am that amazing, beautiful, determined person that set out to achieve a goal and never gave up, not even once the goal was hit!
The Journals I found today reminded me of how tired i am of starting something and never following through with it. I am 32 years old, I still have so many years ahead and I want those years to be amazing, i want to look and feel amazing! I am tired of seeing half empty journals and failed attempts, those are reminders of why i am as big as i am and why i need to stop this reckless behavior now!