I've long battled with my weight. The battle has been so long that it was easy to forget where I started. I was raised by a family who constantly reminded me "you have such a pretty face, if you could just lose 10 pounds." Of course, my grandparents being from Naples and Sicily, there was a constant aroma I could not escape. We didn't simply have a holiday dinner, they were elaborate feasts. At Thanksgiving, it was all we could do to get through the turkey, since our second meal, later that night, was filled with braciole, eggplant parm, manicotti, pizzagaina, pizza dolce, Italian Easter cookies and bread. This all came AFTER the full Thanksgiving meal with at least 12 different pies. Food was such a big part of my family. I recently found an old beach photo. I'm 17, tan and posed along the shore. My legs are toned and my waist defined. At the time, I was probably around 10-15 pounds over the "ideal". Sadly, there were so many comments regarding my body, I thought I was so much bigger. It's unfortunate that I allowed the comments from my family influence me to the point that I became an emotional eater. I can't step back in time and be 17 again. I can't forget the quick fix diets they put me on. At 15, my grandmother put me on The TJ Miracle Soup Diet. I shudder at the memory of doing this during the summer, while I worked a job. Good lord, there was no protein on some days. How did I not simply faint?
FIRST DAY--ALL FRUITS EXCEPT BANANAS
SECOND DAY--ALL VEGETABLE, GREEN & LEAFY
THIRD DAY--FRUITS AND VEGETABLES (no potato)
FOURTH DAY--BANANAS 8, 8 glasses skim milk
FIFTH DAY--BEEF AND VEGETABLES: 10 to 20 beef and 6 tomatoes
SIXTH DAY--BEEF AND VEGETABLES (unlimited, no potatoes)
SEVENTH DAY--BROWN RICE, FRUIT, AND VEGETABLES:
The soup can be eaten at any time.
I remember my grandfather seemed to be the only one with a lucid thought. Yelling and saying it was crazy to make me eat this way. I remember the soup had such a foul odor. It was basically onions, cabbage, peppers and tomatoes. I did lose 20 lbs in a month, but I really think it was because I couldn't bear the thought of eating a lot of these items. There were days I would eat less than 600 calories. Of course, they were thrilled at the weight loss, as I was no longer wearing "husky" jeans. I could wear real people sizes. If that wasn't enough, my grandmother entered me in the "Young Teen Ms. America Pageant." I remember hating it, but wanting to make her happy. We then went on the 3-day Stewardess diet. I remember one of the meals was plain tuna and cold beets. To this day, I can't stand the sight or smell of either!
Looking back, I see the intentions were good, the approach, not so much. I did suffer from bulimia for a short time, since no one ever taught me maintenance. I was scared as hell to gain the weight back after all of the praise. It lasted about a year. I was a teenager, afterall. Summer was coming, along with beach parties, clambakes, etc. So, I went back to old habits. I can't place blame on them for the next 20 years of yo-yo dieting. I have to own that.
Enough time has lapsed. I am no longer angry at my aunts for trying to slip me diet pills and Slimfast. There is no positive growth in holding onto these things.