Thoughts about Food...

Posted on July 28, 2014

One of the reasons I am large and have health problems is that I have a skewed relationship with food.

All of my life I have loved, craved, wanted the overly fatty, sugary, calorie laden foods that should be eaten in moderation. That's what I wanted. ALL the time...

Recently, not so much. Yeah~ I had a cheesecake yesterday. However, it wasn't the AHHHMAZING treat I had thought it would be. It tasted ok, but it wasn't food that should be dreamed about... As I was eating it I was wondering what the hell I was doing. Previously I would have eaten it so fast that I wouldn't have had time to wonder. Yesterday, I tasted it, I took time between bites. I enjoyed the nuances in the lemon flavor from the cheesecake to the lemon curd topping it... it was an experience, not just a "get in my belly!" moment.

I crave the tomatoes, the cucumbers, the beans, all the seasonings.. The freshness of the vegetables. Sometimes when I go too long with out some great vegetables and I eat a salad I can almost feel my body soak up the nutrients. Crazy, eh?

I guess what is bothering me is that I see all these people who are on a weight loss journey and they have not changed thier thoughts about food. I watch YouTube and see these people who have gone though weight loss surgery and they're still anticapating and looking so foreward to that bite of something "bad"... These people who have lost a hundred, or hundreds, of pounds and put weight back on because of food that they still HAVE TO HAVE.

I am so not any better than that. I have and will always have my issues. I have had a lifetime of terrible relationship with food. However.....

I hope, I pray, I demand of myself, that I can change my relationship with food. I can begin looking at the fatladen, sugar hiding, calorie full foods for what they are. The OCCASIONAL TREAT, not the every day, have to have for lunch, let me devour food that I have always had.

If I don't change my mentality then what is this whole thing about, a waste of time?

Also, I have to get this under control NOW, Yesterday. I have to show my precious little munchkin that food should be nutrients for ones body not a conduit to bieng over 200 pounds. I don't want my baby growing up in my footsteps. I want her thin and healthy and happy and active.Time to start right now!

Sorry for the rambling :)

Comment Now!

Amy S.

08/03/2014 9:37AM

Thanks for sharing. I am also trying to change my relationship with food as well. I am working with a therapist as well. I have two children that are starting to gain a little weight so I am trying to help them without scaring them or having them worry they are overweight but its hard to balance it all.

Beth likes this comment.

Beth

07/29/2014 8:36PM

Hildy, I love vegetables. They're great for diabetes. I try really hard to have at least 1-2 salads for my meals during the day. I have romaine lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, onions and mushrooms on them. Also, for protein most often I eat beans. All those other vegetables, (fruits too) are great for diabetics. It's hard to get there and stay on a consistent diet. My husband is a meat eater and pretty much dislikes all veggies... I have learned that I can cook for him and for me as well. I have to come to understand that it's all a journey. I need to enjoy the ride, the process, because in the end that is what we have! :) Thank you for sharing!!!

Emily

07/29/2014 10:34AM

It sounds like you and food are finally making friends. Don't listen to people who want to lose weight and keep eating badly. That's why people gain it back--they haven't truly changed their relationship with their bodies. You're in the process of gaining control by joining DietBet and blogging and thinking about all this. And stay off YouTube. :)

I love fattening food--salty, sugary, cheesy, buttery. I'll always enjoy it. I just want to feel good/fit more than I want to overeat. I hate when people say "Oh, I have so much more energy now!" But I really do! And it gives me more strength to resist the food I don't even *really* want--like candy at the drugstore. My new motto is: Will it be there tomorrow? If the answer is yes, I can hold off for another day.

As for vegetables, it's been a revelation for me now that I'm learning to cook how sweet they can be. I don't know how this works in relation to your diabetes, but beets, sweet potatoes, carrots, onions, etc. can be so yummy...

Lynda H.

07/28/2014 8:46AM

Thanks for sharing. You're spot on

Nishtha G. and Beth like this comment.