I woke up in a funk this morning. It hasn't left me yet!
I did not gain any weight, I did not lose any weight. That was dissapointing but kind of acceptable. Understandable even. I have not walked in 2 days. I really need to, but don't want to go out in the heat!! 103 today!
While frustrated I typically clean so that while doing so I can work through things in my head. This works well. My bedroom, living room and kitchen are now pretty well deep cleaned.
My headache and body aches aren't fine. :( I am ready for my body to start feeling better.
I know this will come with working out more. I am in a delima. I have the money to buy a treadmill (exerciser of some sort, treadmill, stair climber, rower, eliptical...something) or I could get a gym membership... I kind of want both. I think it will be benificial for me to have the treadmill at home for any time work outs... but I can see the gym would be more inclusive for whole body work out... I think the treadmill will win... I have had the gym membership before and not used it... argh!! I guess I could buy a treadmill off Craigslist and get the membership too, however, I really want something NEW!
I have been eating between 1400 and 1500 calories a day. More often the 1400. Today I am closer to 2000. eh, I am making some split pea soup for dinner. It has all kinds of vegetables. Onions, garlic, celery, carrots, peppers... It has at least 9g protien per 1/2 cup and 20 carbs also a fair amount of fiber. My munchkin can't wait to dive in!
I have not shared that I have some issues with my back. I worked for an elderly community for a while. I have not been at work for 2 years due to buldging disks in my spine. I really want to be small, healthy and active. Some days I push it and try to do what I could before my injury. It takes a while to heal from my over exhuberance. I think this is why my funk! I am feeling my body restrictions and I dislike it! I am ready to move on with my life. I am ready for the next chapter. I am trying, really trying to push through this and begin the next part of my life.... Sigh!
I am also in need of employment. I am so lost as to what directin to go in. My only real skills are with food. The kitchen is not the greatest place for my body. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, and jeez this isn't! Not knowing, not being sure, feeling lost in this aspect of my life really frustrates me!!! I want to be one of those people that has a passion, a real PASSOIN a knowlegds that THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE and no question. I never have been like this in the employment area, and probably never will be... :(
No more feeling sorry for myself, no more funk. Time to turn the music on and put on a happy face and pretend, until I am. The whole "fake it till you make it"
Anyone ever heard "All About That Base" by Meghan Trainor? I love this song!!