I started working with a Diet Coach at Rise (you can check them out online), and was immediately triggered. Taking pictures of every meal and sending them to a coach would provide accountability, I believed, but I did not anticipate the heart-felt hurt and irritation I experienced. For example, I'd send her a picture of a protein shake with low fat milk cut with water and she'd say "make it skim, please," and I'd feel annoyed that it wasn't, and that cutting it... Didn't "cut it!"
Fortunately, I was able to recognize the old demons coming up from being told what to (and to not) eat by my mom -- when I started really struggling with my weight as an adolescent. I was depressed and didn't really know what to do about my weight, I only knew that I hated myself for it and that it felt impossible to change. A part of me may always be called back to these difficult feelings from my youth when it comes to dieting.
Today, I've experienced weight-loss success, thank God, and know there is a solution to the battle of the bulge: surrender those poor eating habits! Take a new road and a new plan and hold your course on a new field! Embrace a plan and do it!
If there are coaches you feel shamed by, speak up and ask for what you need. It's okay to be sensitive as you make huge changes in diet and exercise- we all are- that's normal. What separates the winners from the losers is using that sensitivity for good! Ask for exactly what you need and follow A plan NO MATTER WHAT!!! At least that's what's working for me- and I've lost almost 1/4 of my weight already (0.8%) in 3 days!
Hang in there!!