Despite my yo-yo dieting, I've never NOT gone swimming or worn a bathing suit because of my body. Sure, I've been 84 lbs lighter..but I've also been 70 lbs heavier than my current weight. The weight gain over the years has caused some nasty looking vericose veins. When I work out really intensely, there are a few veins at the back of my leg that bulge.
I have a surgical scar on my shoulder that people notice. I have an even larger surgical scar from removal of an ovary. I know people see it when I'm showering at the gym. I don't mind if someone sees it. Scars tell the story of where you've been.
I didn't have bulging veins when I got married and lost weight the first time. I know why they're there. I refuse to hide because of them, since I feel it's all the outer shell. I'm 44 and have wrinkles, crinkles & sun damage from being a lifeguard and living on the beach as a kid. Despite all of my outer creases, I would never have surgery. I don't wear makeup, save for lipstick. I like the way my skin feels, without powders and foundations.
When I take a Zumba class, I'm always in the front row. I don't care if I've never taken the class before. I'm not the type of person who wants to hide in the back. I stand at the front so I can see the instructor's feet and watch myself in the mirror, to be sure I'm doing what I need to.
I stand in front of the bathroom mirror everyday. I can see subtle changes. I don't wish for the body of my youth. The body that was bulimic for so long to attain a certain number. I take it all in. Scars, stretch marks....the whole picture.
Embracing the you you are today is just as important as loving the one you're working towards :-)