It's amazing how easy it is to gain weight. Many of you would know more about the struggle than me--I haven't yet had children, and I haven't even hit age 22. I have no idea about the struggles that will come my way when I hit 40. I have no idea if I will suffer an injury so I won't be able to exercise, or if I will encounter depression or hypo-thyoidism...However I think it is worth it to share my thoughts on what I have discovered thus far.
We all know that it's so easy to just have dessert everyday. It's pleasurable to fill ourselves with yummy bread, sweets, and cakes, french fries, pasta, and all sorts of delicacies. I know that more than most, as I spend most of my life in the kitchen. I swore to myself, the day I learned to cook, that I would NEVER settle for boring food. I still don't. But there is a reason I went from 135 to 173 pounds since I quit ballet, and along with that, lost all desire to be a careful eater.
I used to sit down to my computer, pull up pinterest or a cooking show I missed, and say to myself, "And now....what enrapturing dishes shall I cook up this week? Why not start with Moroccan!" Every week my ritual gave me such release and such peace--like going into your quiet place to paint, to read, or to write. And there were so many differing ideas and options that it took me hours and hours to decide what to make. I drifted through the grocery store just eating everything with my eyes; I spent hours in Asian and Indian markets when I got the chance, just to stir the winds of my imagination. I didn't care about calories or carbs at that point. I just wanted to be inspired and create something new. That's what college was all about for me.
Now, I've changed. I can still be creative in my cooking, but I have rules to follow to guide me down the road. I can't eat lots of carbs and stay thin. It's something I am going to have to finally come to terms with. So, instead of viewing my diet as a chain that is destroying my freedom to be creative, I view it as guide rails for my passion for food. These guide rails shall help me lead myself into the center of creative thinking about good food. Whereas before I stumbled all over the place and wanted to learn everything about making every single food (which I could never do in a lifetime), I now have directions to follow. In the grocery store I no longer wander to the dessert counter to gaze longingly at the chocolate cake I cannot eat. I follow the guard rails to what is healthy, and I create tasty food out of those options alone. I can easily relate this to my faith in Christ. Yes, God gives us commands to follow, and some may see that as stifling, but it is really freeing! The Holy Spirit is our "guard rail" who guides us through the chaos and whispers to us when we look towards the temptations. We keep our eyes on the goal. At the end of the trials of life, we will reap a great reward for our faith and our trust!
Now I recognize my responsibility to follow the straight and narrow path in all areas of my life, especially in nourishing my family. I won't lead myself and my family into obesity (or even pleasantly-plumphood), but will strive to make us healthy, happy, and full of energy--without the suffering I experienced as a struggling, dieting ballet dancer.
I still need to keep my promise that I will never cook boring, yucky food. I will never serve unflavorful, mushy vegetables with plain ole chicken and call it a meal. I want my family to feel special, to eat like kings so they can share with me my joy of cooking. And I will do my best to strive toward that goal. Yes, some days there will still be rice. I may cook a cake for special occasions. But I will never again live like my body can take whatever I feel like giving it. That is not honoring my family, it's not honoring God, and it's not honoring my gift for cooking He has given me.